What's Up with the PINK tie?

Let's see, did Dick shoot someone and is now having a shot - pardon the pun - of looking like a puss? Poor, poor Dick.

Damn near lost the lunch on this one...

I'd rather go driving with Ted Kennedy than hunting with Dick Cheney.

Hell, at least with the Ted, if you noticed you were going off a bridge, you had a shot to get out of the car - ---- oh sorry, another rim shot.

This is too easy. Of course, in about 5 minutes my buddy, JS, will have his turn and it will no doubtably be memorable. Must be nice to be a "Daily Show" writer at this time in historic US politics/media. I only thought I was overpaid.

Freebie Advertising...

So, since I've burned 1,000 cigarrette holes in the back seat of his Prelude (I was only borrowing it for Christ's sakes and how did I know the sunroof would blow them back into the car?), I figured the least I could do was give his band a free promo on my Oh-so-fucking-world-wide-read-blog...

So without further ado, I present to you the be next Band of the Decade, "The Guins"! Or, http://www.theguins.com/index.html and the exhaulted lead singer, Baby Bro! Rhhhhhhaaaaaaa, just hear the crowd going ape.

He and his bandmates are performing their debut radio appearance on http://wmucradio.com/station tonight. He's making references to his family who are listening as we speak. Mummy is stuck in a Nor'easter (if that's how you spell it - leave it to a yankee to come up some twisted hyphenated word for "BLIZZARD"). We are also expecting a blizzard aka "a few flurries", which if timed correctly could literally shut down Atlanta for a few hours.

Anyway, back to The Guins, check them out if you haven't been baptized by their sound as yet.

I'm Sorry...

...but if you look like this




and you think you look "normal", you need more than a team of psychiatrists.

This stupid ass is on so many drugs to keep her from getting infections and rejecting her new face, yet she started smoking again!! If I were one of her doctors, I'd rip the new face right off. What a stupid ingrate.

How Does this Happen

From today's AJC...

Halliburton unit gets U.S. contract

The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has awarded a contract worth up to $385 million for building temporary immigration detention centers to Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg Brown & Root. KBR would build the centers for the Homeland Security Department in case of an unexpected influx of immigrants or to house people after a natural disaster or for new programs that require additional detention space, the company said. Federal auditors rebuked the company for unsubstantiated billing in its Iraq contracts, and there have been claims that Halliburton, which was led by Dick Cheney before he became vice president, was aided by connections in obtaining contracts.

What? Excuse the fuck out of me, but how the hell does this happen? Oh yeah, and Congress votes to NOT investigate Halliburton misdeeds in Iraq? Something sadly fishy is going on - and has been for a long, long time.

Those poor Gulf Coast victims. Now they're going to make them live in a "Halliburton Home". I could have built a safer shelter with my Lincoln Logs when I was four fucking years old.

Another Luckovich...

Aside from the obvious (which is more a reality check), the funniest thing is the caricature of Bush. Who's your little monkey-boy?

Atlanta Makes National News

Only to prove that we really are backward ass...

First, as most of you know, Coretta Scott King died Monday. Apparently, she passed away in some Mexican hospital known for it's alternative medical treatments for the terminally ill such as "a detoxification procedure called oral chelation". Now, I don't know what the hell chelation is, but "chela" is a lobster's claw according to Mr. Webster. Oh yeah, and Mr. Webster also says that "terminal" means "you are going to fucking D-I-E" (OK, so I paraphrased).

Now, some of you folks out there might seem surprised that Mrs. King died in some freak hospital. But, living in Atlanta some of us are lucky enough to get the local news stories involving her illustrious children. That's right, Dexter and Martin III are like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber. The way these two fight, you'd think they were two years old. Dexter even lives in California because that's the farthest away from his big brother that he can get without needing a visa. Not only do they bicker and squabble, but they absolutely piss away all the money they earn for doing NOTHING except owning the King Center. Just last month, they said they were going to have to sell the King Center to the City of Atlanta because they were so broke. What a joke.

Atlanta also made national news with a story about what some idiot coined "McMansions". If you don't know, a McMansion is a "supersized home" and they're building them like crazy in all these historic neighbourhoods in Atlanta and folks are getting miffed. See, back in the late '80s and early '90s, folks flocked to the suburbs because Blackie in the City was bad. These folks generally were white, conservative, Bible-thumping, and rich. When they got out to the 'burbs, they built these massive 7-8,000 square foot houses and had lots of land. Well, here we are, a decade later and it now takes these same white, rich, conservative Bible-thumpers about two hours to get from their house in Cartersville to Atlanta (roughly 35 miles).

So Whitey has decided to move back to the City. However, whitey still wants their 7-8,00 square foot house, but they want it in the "it" neighbourhoods - Virginia Highland, Lake Clair, Morningside. These are places that were established in the late 1800s and consist of 3 bedroom, 2 bath craftsman bungalows. OK, so Whitey buys one of these bungalows, but instead of moving in, they raize it and build one of their 7-8,000 square foot houses. Something like this...




Now, here's where I have a problem. Although I think people should be able to build their own homes the way they want them, who the fuck needs a 8,000 square-foot house with a four car garage, especially in a neighbourhood where every other house is a 1,100 square foot house with off-street parking? So enough folks screamed and Shirley put pen to paper and issued a temporary moratorium on this type of construction. Well, developers are going nuts and - get this - so is our neighbourhood association. Unlike the hoity-toity neighbourhoods, mine wants developers to build these monster mansions to attract the "right kind of people". Correct me if I'm wrong, but the people who can afford McMansions are not going to live in a neigbourhood that has crack dealers on the corner every minute of the day. Oh well, everyone is going to duke it out tomorrow at City Council chambers tomorrow. Go figure, my buddy, Carla, will chair the event. Should be a good show, though, and it will get me out of work for a couple of hours. What a joke.