Proud to be from Georgia

Thanks to Bill Maher - New Rule: There's no such thing as a "gateway" candy. Legislators in Georgia are seeking a ban on "pot-flavored" candy, calling it a "gateway" product to other drugs. Okay, now you're high. And, kids, listen to Uncle Bill: if you're smoking pot for the taste, you're doing it wrong.

Amen.

Cynthia McKinney is being a pain in the ass again. Now, whether or not she is being persecuted unfairly or finally getting her payback, is up to you. But, here in Georgia it's real easy to pick sides. If you are a white, Christian conservative - she's getting her payback. If you're a poor, black, I-don'-need-no-job-dipshit, who thinks whitey holds you back, you probably think she's being persecuted. Sorry, too many syllables - you probably think she's being "hung". Ouch, double meaning unintended.

The Georgia Legislature failed to pass a bill regarding animal creulty because too many of those low-life rednecks wanted to exclude cock fighting and hog fighting. Yup, you know me, I had to ask... people fight hogs??? The answer, "No, dummy, you put a dog and a hog in a pit and see who wins". Oh, excuse the fuck out of me. What fucking planet am I living on?

A warning to new moms, don't let your baby eat your coke. In Vidalia, Georgia - best known for their onions and their backward-ass trailer trash, a mother was charged with felony murder and cruelty to children (which seems kinda after-the-fact to me) when her 2-year old ate Momma's stash of crack cocaine. Momma was good enough to take the baby to the hospital when she noticed "complications of cocaine use". Can you picture a crankey toddler running around sniffing and wiping his nose? I would never have guessed cocaine abuse.

Yesterday, flights and services at Hartsfield airport were delayed because an electrical contractor "cut a wire" that killed all the power to Concourse D. Let me tell you, this was not "a wire" and if Sparky did cut it, there would be no Sparky. How fucked up is that to be able to shunt the power to an entire airport concourse?


And, I see this one coming... some FSU brains have determined that the way Jesus was able to walk on water was that the Sea of Gallilee was frozen. Holy Shit! The Thumpers will be crawling out of the woodwork when they read this one.

When, oh when will I finally get out of here???

Cookie Candy Creations

I tried to make some cookies last night for some folks at work, but I wound up really screwing up the recipe so I tried to fix it. What turned out was a-m-a-z-i-n-g or should I say amazingly fattening (I figure an additional 2 miles on the treadmill per cookie so after last night, we're looking at a marathon). But as Mother would say, “how could it not be amazing with ½ pound of sugar and ½ pound of butter." Enjoy. If you need pecans let me know and I’ll send some from our harvest.

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon baking soda

1 egg
3 ounces milk
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 sticks unsalted butter
1 cup sugar
1 cup dark brown sugar

2-3 cups chopped pecans


Heat oven to 375 degrees F.

Sift together the flour, salt, and baking soda in a mixing bowl.

Combine the egg, milk, and vanilla and bring to room temperature in another bowl.

Cream the butter in the mixer's work bowl, starting on low speed to soften the butter. Add the sugars. Increase the speed, and cream the mixture until light and fluffy. Reduce the speed and add the egg mixture slowly. Increase the speed and mix until well combined.

Slowly add the flour mixture, scraping the sides of the bowl until thoroughly combined. Stir in the pecans. Spoon onto parchment-lined baking sheets, 6 cookies per sheet (these really spread out).

Bake for 8-9 minutes, but check on them after 7 minutes. Once they start turning brown, they will burn really quickly.

Remove the cookies from the pans immediately. They will be extremely thin and soft. Cool on a flat surface (don't try to use a rack as the cookies will fall through before they cool. This creates funky looking cookies that I couldn't bring to work so dammit, I ate them. Ah, the sacrifices.

I used a slab of marble sitting over a pan of ice water to keep the marble cold. The sooner the cookies cool, the sooner you can eat them. You can also use a slab of ceramic tile (you can get one or two at Home Depot for about $1.20 for a 12"x12". The ceramic tile is also a great idea if you want a cheap, durable, cutting board that doesn't absorb smells and germs.

Once cooled, store in an airtight container.

Bon Appetit (or should I say, "Bon Voyage - Size 6")?