Surfing

So normally this is the most boring job on the planet. But today is a national holiday (which we do not get to take) so everything is closed EXCEPT Tech. This means I won't get any mail, I can't go to the bank, I can't go to the post office, I really, truly don't have shite to do except - surf.

Starting with something pleasant (not a norm in my blogging history) - I'm looking for pictures for a Christmas gift and ran across this one from the photographers at my uncle's wedding last year. Check out this awesome photo of Stowe




What a beautiful sight this is.


Back to reality:




Now for sick and twisted and in need of electrocution:

A fuckup in Florida, kills his girlfriend, then sleeps with her, then takes her five cats to be put down. Whaaa? OK, it's bad enough he offs the lady, but to kill her cats so "they can be with her"? Please do not make me pay for this guy's life in prison with my tax money. A bullet costs a mere 30 cents.

Speaking of bullets, those two monsters that tortured that puppy in the projects next to my house last month are being arraigned today. According to the AJC,

"The brothers face an 11-count indictment on charges including aggravated cruelty to animals, burglary, criminal damage to property in the second degree, making terroristic threats and five misdemeanor counts of cruelty to children in the third degree.

The child cruelty charges stem from reports by neighborhood children that the teen enticed them to the center to see the dead puppy and threatened to kill them if they told anyone they knew."

Actually, forget the bullet. I say, tie them up with duct tape, douse them with paint and them roast them in an oven until they board the express train to hell. I hope when they get there, they find out Satan is canine.


Aljazeera reports that Syria is preparing to attack Israel. Lovely. And everyone is reporting that North Korea with that loon president, Kim Jong Il, has become the newest nuclear country. Lovely. South Korea and Japan are trying to figure out who will be the first to go up in smoke. And what will the US do about it? Well, we can certainly send in what's left of our military - geriatrics and retards. And how comforting to know we have that Nazi, John Bolton, representing us at the United Nations.

Reader's Digest says that 30% of all high schoolers do NOT graduate and 40% of all college freshmen need remedial classes because they aren't prepared to be in college. Just how stupid is this country? Nevermind, just reading the news answers that question.


I think I'll sign off with a happy thought: A very rare snow leopard



Thanks National Geographic.

Tigers or Retarded Kittens?

Can somebody please tell me what the hell happened to Auburn today? Sweet Jesus (who apparently isn't a Tiger fan), Auburn played like shit on stink. It didn't help that Arkansas (who has the stupidiest assmunch mascot since that idiot 1996 Olympic blue thing they called a Iggy?) played more like a professional Southern Cal team.

Auburn Number Two?? Yeah, maybe, but not in terms of the BCS. More like #2 in terms of a chocolate pudding splash in the back of the bowl.

Somebody please tell Tommy:

#1 When a 6-foot, 3-inch tall, 290-pound gorilla is fixin' to crash land on the guy who's throwing your godamn football, tell him to RUUUNNNN.

#2 When one of your receivers is hauling ass downfield to catch a hail mary pass, tell him to CATTTTCHHH IT.

And

#3, when your running back is struggling to get to the end zone tell him to not to DROP the fucking ball!

Quiz: How many chances do you give your opponent to score on YOUR 3 yard line? Apparently, according to Auburn play games, T-H-R-E-E!

On another note, how can Arkansas play such dirty ball and still win by 14 points? I've never even heard of some of those penalties. Speaking of dirty ball, looks like the Florida/LSU game will be the frosting on my turdcake today. The only other thing that could top this little tart with a big fucking cherry will be if Georgia beats Tennessee. That would put Auburn in the skidmark of the SEC undies.

Sorry for all the gross references, but I am truly pissed. I could have played better defense against Bo Jackson with several bong hits, a shot of lithium, and a partial lobotomy.

Progress Measured in a Dixie Cup

YIPPY - two coats of paint left and my new front door is done. I wouldn't hire myself to do shit since it's taken me four months to replace my front door. What a scam.

I've had it with the paint stripper. I'm pretty sure that's what killed the last brain cell I had and it's getting the cat high and it's just not fair for the cat to get fucked up when I can't.

What a lovely morning. There's nothing like the delightful hum of sirens, barking dogs, RAP MUSIC at 2,000 decibels, ahhhh--- the "Ballad of the 'Hood". Maybe that's why I pine for such places as Rabun or Los Roques.

On the subject of mornings, how is it that on mornings that begin with "monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, and friday", I can't drag my sorry ass out of bed to save Earth. BUT - you give me a Saturday morning or a Sunday morning and the bells start chiming at FIVE AM.

On the subject of the 'Hood, I want one of these:



No, not so I can drive it (fat-fucking-chance), but so the brothers in the 'Hood really think I'm nuts. Actually, I'm pretty sure I've accomplished that already. My favourite thing in the world to do is stand on the front porch, hands on hips and just stare at 'em. You know, with a look that says, "please just give me an excuse to blow your sorry, welfare-sucking ass off the planet". I'm pretty sure they think I have a RPG in the house. I mean, if you're truly a crazed nut at the end of your rope, a handgun just won't do the trick.

Melissa Ethridge has a song and video out for "An Inconvienent Truth". Great song, but I really don't think I can see the movie. Before Bush leaves office, I'm positive there won't be much breathable air left in this world. What a nimrod. His daddy was on the news last night telling everyone how his little boy really isn't stupid. After all, "he graduated Yale". Whooo-hooo! All that means is that enough money can buy a diploma anywhere.

On the subject of education - or lack thereof - Only 9% of University of Georgia basketball players graduate. That's just plain sad.


On the subject of truly sad, last month two teenagers in the Englewood Manor took a puppy and duct-taped all four of his legs together, then covered him in paint and set him on fire. Since that didn't quite kill him, these little monsters decided to roast him in the oven of the community club. Then, they trashed the community club and went out and started bragging about what they did. They even put on a little "show and tell" for the other twisted fucksticks in the 'Hood. The Fulton DA is requesting that Sonny revise the law for animal abuse so these "boys" can spend some quality time in the Pokie. I beg any Right-wing assmunch to tell me why anyone would disagree with the DA. Where's that RPG, again?

I need a vacation. I wanted to raft the Chatooga this weekend, but they wrote and said there's no water in the river. What fun is that? Actually, I just got back from Florida. Not much of a vacation, perse, but I did get to go to the pool one day. I'm so glad security on the planes has returned to sensible. I accidentally carried a corkscrew on board, but they snatched my bottle of water right out of my grubby paw.

Speaking of water, going down to the bathroom has become a torturous nightmare. First, I've been suffering a wicked-assed kidney infection for two weeks and I have to take this fucking medication that turns your piss orange. I don't mean, orange-hued, I mean fucking Sunkist ORANGE. Thank god the doctor warned me or I'd be freaking out, back in the emergency room. Then, just so my physical discomfort isn't outmatched by my mental anguish, Army ROTC has moved down the hall and they have put pictures of everyone in the Bush Administration (yup, to include President Fuckstick) up and down the walls. And it's not just the pictures, these jokes have more shit on the walls than a pre-pubscent teenager. Military recruiters really are a bunch of amoral retards.

And it goes without saying that if the Democrats can't take down this asshole-ee-oh,



then we're even more fucked than previously feared. If you're so stupid as to EMAIL slutty messages to teenagers, you deserve a spanking. Now he gets to hide out in re-hab, 'cause his homosexuality was due to the fact he's a fucking lush. And he was the chairman of the committee to end child explotation. Talk about putting the gay, pedophiliac, drunk fox in charge of the kindergarten coop. Floridians must be so proud. And the right-wingers are running for the hills.

The Washington Post wrote that the 700 mile fence on the Texas border that the Republicans are bragging about approving won't be built after all. If memory serves, that would mean that these dipshits have accompished NADA, niente, nicht since they have been back in session and they're going on recess again. Well, maybe not until some of them lose their seats thanks to Foley. However, this country is so fucked up, I'm not sure anyone, the least being a Democrat, can fix it - ever.

Also in the news: Jimmy Buffett gets busted with drugs. And?

Scottish news reports a 15-year old white boy was viciously murdered by Arabs because he was white. What the fuck is wrong with this world when shit like this happens in Scotland? Houston, Atlanta, Oakland, maybe... but Scotland?

Some good news? Pot smokers may be able to avoid Alzheimer's. Where's my bong?

Other good news? This little precious



will be on a National Geographic show this Sunday. Her name is Legadema and she was photographed over a period of three years by a couple in Botswana. They said that at one point she killed a baboon for food, then found the baboon's baby and actually nurtured it. How fucking awesome is that?

Speaking of critters, Lun Lun's new cub is just damn cute



Of course, Zoo Atlanta is going to have an auction in a month to determine what the baby will be called. Since the last baby born at the zoo (a gorilla) is now called Macy's (yup, after the department store), maybe we'll have to call Lun Lun's cub "Home Depot".

Holy, sweet Jesus, I'm so fucking bored at this job, I'm blogging about goddam pandas. Time to get out of here.

Son,

... fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.

That being said, Georgia has the dubious distinction of being the 46th dumbest, and 12 fattest, state in the country. YA-HOOOOO! Oh, and we're getting poorer and sicker, too.



"Ya want some gofer, Everett?"

According to the Trust for America's Health, here's how we southerners rank amongst the rest of the country...

INSIDE TODAY: Fat sure knows how to say y'all
Holy Grits, Fatman. The nationwide problem of being overweight has a distinct Southern accent. A national health report released Tuesday finds eight of the 10 fattest states are in the South. A7 (teaser)

1. Mississippi ..........29.5 percent
2. Alabama ..............28.7 percent
3. West Virginia ........28.6 percent
4. Louisiana ............27.4 percent
5. Kentucky..............26.7 percent
6. Tennessee ............26.6 percent
7. Arkansas..............26.4 percent
8. (tie) Indiana ........26.2 percent
8. (tie) South Carolina..26.2 percent
10. Texas................25.8 percent
11. Michigan ............25.6 percent
12. Georgia..............25.5 percent
Source: Trust for America's Health

Must be all those chitlins, hamhocks, and collards swimming in backfat. Yum. Actually, I have no idea what a 'chitlin' is and something tells me I don't want to know. I've probably dissected one in biology class, but I don't want to know what it looks like covered in gravy on a dinner plate.



"Stupid is as Stupid Does"

Top 5 States and their average SAT scores (the highest you can get is 2400)?


1. North Dakota: 1815

2. Iowa: 1806

3. Illinois: 1786

4. South Dakota: 1772

5. (tie) Minnesota and Wisconsin: 1765

Now, I can understand why North and South Dakota are so high. First, they only have about 25 people under the age of 78 in the State. Second, those 25 folks have about a 1:1 student:teacher ratio. Minnesota and Wisconsin are high because it's so fucking cold, kids don't have anything else to do while they sit inside watching the blizzard snowfall. In Iowa, studying is better than farming and there's $$$$ in Illinois.

Now for the lemming nitwits:

46. Georgia: 1477

47. Pennsylvania: 1476

48. Florida: 1473

49. South Carolina: 1465

50. Hawaii: 1463


Hell, I could have scored a 1477 with a bottle of Jack and half a dozen qualudes. Don't ask me about Pennsylvania. Too many braincells killed in coalmines, maybe.

Of course, the new SAT has an added essay, which Gov. Perdue used to try to explain the low scores. However, since Georgia is now number forty-SIXTH and not forty-NINTH, he's touting it as a major victory and a great reason to re-elect him.

However, Sonny is also responsible for sending Georgia to the eighth highest group of folks that are uninsured. This along with our spiked poverty rate means the right-wing nutcases are doing what they promised. Elimate the poor and middle class through illness and stupidity, increase the wealthy base by eliminating taxes for the rich. Ahhhhhh, utopia!

Why We Pay $3.00 for a Gallon of Gas

Yeah, this really chaps my ass (thanks to Z-man for sending this)

Dubai, United Arab Emerates

Construction Phase:










Construction Complete (notice the scale by checking the palm trees)




Remember, this is in the middle of the desert.... The very HOT desert where temperatures get up to 120 degrees....






Now for a look inside...
























Why do we pay three bucks a gallon for gas? So these nimrod bastards can fucking ski in the desert. I shit you not. It's not like they don't have the cash to go to Aspen or Stowe or even the Alps. Of course, I guess we're the lemming dipshits since we're the ones paying them to play.

Un-fucking-believable.

Pictures and Whatnot

This is one of the first monochromatic photographs published in the National Geographic. I love this style of photography. Yeah, I also love the fact that this is a picture of one of my most favourite places, Southern France.


Now for something completely different...



This is another reason why Communists should be shot in the face. There was a big rabies scare in China earlier this month. By "big", I mean about 50 people came down with the disease. The Communist answer: Kill every dog you can find. No, I don't mean a lethal-injection-kill, I mean, bash-the-fucking-skull-in-with-a-stick-kill. According to the AP, the Chinese have killed over 50,000 animals. Officers have been seen snatching dogs out of owners yards, tricking the dogs out of homes and then beating them to death.

This level of blatant stupidity simply chaps my ass raw.



And onto happier thoughts:

I want to take one of these



and sail around these



Right now I'm going it alone, but I may have hooked a friend from the north to go with me. My lure included reminding her that she wouldn't have to spend Thanksgiving with one of her sisters - who she's about to kill, we haven't hung out in over a year, and since she's a jewelry designer, she could get inspiration on the trip (OK, that one could be a stretch, but I'm desperate). Another friend said I should put in an ad in MySpace, but I don't think that's such a great idea on a number of levels - I can just see myself tooling around the Caribbean with a psycho-killer.



On another note:
There is an awesome morpholution in this month's Vanity Fair. Check it out at vanityfair.com and scroll to the bottom of the page.


Also, there is a photo essay containing pictures not previously published from 9-11. Still really raw stuff like


The juxtaposition of this particular photo is truly creepy.


Of course, since 9-11 was started by Al Qaida and everyone knows Al Qaida and Saddam are in bed together we were completely justified in invading a soveriegn country, right Georgie?

From yesterday's press conference:

BUSH: Imagine what the world would be like with him in power. The idea is to try to help change the Middle East.

Now look, part of the reason we went into Iraq was -- the main reason we went into Iraq, at the time, was we thought he had weapons of mass destruction. It turns out he didn't, but he had the capacity to make weapons of mass destruction.

But I also talked about the human suffering in Iraq. And I also saw the need to advance a freedom agenda. And so my answer to your question is that -- imagine a world in which Saddam Hussein was there, stirring up even more trouble in a part of the world that had so much resentment and so much hatred that people came and killed 3,000 of our citizens.

(and Georgie isn't stirring up trouble? Sorry, my own interjection, there)

You know, I've heard this theory about, you know, everything was just fine until we arrived and -- you know, the stir-up-the-hornet's- nest theory. It just doesn't hold water, as far as I'm concerned.

The terrorists attacked us and killed 3,000 of our citizens before we started the freedom agenda in the Middle East. They were ...

QUESTION: What did Iraqi have to do with that?

BUSH: What did Iraq have to do with what?

QUESTION: The attacks upon the World Trade Center.

BUSH: Nothing. Except for it's part of -- and nobody's ever suggested in this administration that Saddam Hussein ordered the attack. Iraq was a -- Iraq -- the lesson of September the 11th is: Take threats before they fully materialize, Ken.


Hmmmm, me thinks I remember a conversation Dick had with Tim Russert on Sept 8, 2002

VICE PRES. CHENEY: Well, I want to be very careful about how I say this. I’m not here today to make a specific allegation that Iraq was somehow responsible for 9/11. I can’t say that. On the other hand, since we did that interview, new information has come to light. And we spent time looking at that relationship between Iraq, on the one hand, and the al-Qaeda organization on the other. And there has been reporting that suggests that there have been a number of contacts over the years. We’ve seen in connection with the hijackers, of course, Mohamed Atta, who was the lead hijacker, did apparently travel to Prague on a number of occasions. And on at least one occasion, we have reporting that places him in Prague with a senior Iraqi intelligence official a few months before the attack on the World Trade Center. The debates about, you know, was he there or wasn’t he there, again, it’s the intelligence business.

We in the Deep South refer to this as a "doggie on a hardwood".

As usual, I couldn't watch the idiot's press gig yesterday and I could barely choke through the transcript this morning. What a load of shit. He should just keep his flap shut. The dipshit even said the feds have given $100 BILLION to Katrina victims. Looks like Ray Nagin will be on Meet the Press Sunday to say something to the contrary.

Speaking of TV - the final episode of Meerkat Manor comes on Friday, followed by a brand new Bill Maher. Works for my loser-ass self.


And back to happier items...

Ahhhh



Time to get off my ass and go for a 5 miler. I've done enough blogging this morning to earn my paycheck. Gotta love those taxpayer dollars hard at work.

Enough to Make a Vegetarian Puke

From the BBC: A protester campaigns for animal rights by appearing as a pack of human meat outside stores in Covent Garden, London.

This is Me After Too Many Margaritas

Buenos Noches.

Why? 'Cause the Shit is Cute, Godammit

Procrastination at it's Best

This - my blog - is my last attempt to prolong the inevitable - I have to finish the restoration of my living room and hallway. If it weren't for the megadeath fumes from the paint stripper (oh, and the work), I wouldn't mind so much. Actually it's not the work, it's just the anxiety to see the finished product. Then again, its been three months since I replaced the front door and I'm just now getting to the moulding (and thanks to my crap plaster work, there will be plenty of moulding). So there's the perfect contridiction. Needless to say, everything is a slide puzzle around here. I have to finish the front door so I can move shit from the den into the living room, then I have to finish the hallway so I have places to store the shit that's in the dining room (previously displaced into said dining room to finish said hallway). Then I really have to break out the paint stripper. T-H-R-E-E door frames and T-H-R-E-E big windows. I'm actually pricing replacing the windows first. Better to replace the windows before you do an assload of plaster work. Unlike the rest of my house - front door for example. Lesson learned. I also have to get started on the rewire. Looks like there's a cool audio stereo system that will work well in the house. So I have to price that and throw it into my estimate. Well worth it!

Anyway, I have tried everything possible to procrastinate finishing these little projects, likely because it will mean I actually met a milestone in my little project called Spanky. This is not to say there aren't future things in the works - especially building out the west side, tearing out the kitchen wall, building a bathroom downstairs... ah, long story and blogging about restoring your house is as pathetic as catblogging.

One of my diversions was the Sunday AJC. I get a lot of good stuff from the Atlanta Urinal-Constipation.

Some crumbles from today:

----A former El Al security expert says the only way you can keep undesirables off planes is with profiling, not technology. Leo Gleser, a former sky marshal and El Al secruity officer said, "Your behavior is different when you know this is your last day". Interesting, it ain't about profiling for race, nationality, or any of that shit. It really does come down to body language and behaviour! Sadly, though, if this is true ATL is still screwed. Do you honestly think we have CITY workers capable of attaining this level of education and talent?

----BP just went on my EatShitList. Aside from the fact that they can't - or don't - perfom preventive maintenance on their equipment and infrastructure is obscene. I work at Georgia Tech and we've had a more efficient PM program than this for a decade. The difference being we serve 25 thousand people and we have an operating budget of around 8 million. BP/AMOCO serves ---how many million ---- and their folks bring home ---- how many billion? Then I get a letter in the mail that says I can no longer pay my bill electronically through my bank. They will send me a paper bill . Well, that won't work because I prefer the ease of paying online and if BP and Bank of America had some falling-out, why should I have to write out a check, buy stamps, and find a mailbox because of it. When I called to pay over the phone, I was going to get charged EIGHT dollars. Now, it's not about the money, it's about, well... the money. Why the hell should BP get any extra money from me just because they don't have online payment anymore? Blah, blah... more catblogging.

Berlin has agreed to a 51 million dollar proposal to protect what's left of the Berlin Wall. This is a good thing. I can understand why folks, who lived through the Cold War, would want it down, but this really does represent mistakes that were made and without those reminders we're destined to repeat that history. I remember that day in October when I was sitting in front of the TV and saw those images of the Wall coming down. I went to Berlin about 6 months after that and got a piece of it. I bet there are a bunch of folks out there with little chunks of the Wall.

Speaking of historic mistakes, what the hell are we doing in the the Middle East? What are we not doing in Africa...? Ah, fuck it - it's Sunday morning and not a good time for a rant.


Global warming hoax: Georgia's estuaries are dying and creating a 70 percent increase in the jellyfish population. I hate fucking jellyfish, little bastards hurt like hell, and sadly this is NOT a hoax.

The travel section has a headline for a different type of vacation: Renting a houseboat. Considering this is what I want to be living on in a year of so, why not test drive it first? The only problem is this particular package is in Minnesota. Not real interested in Minnesota, perse, I would rather just learn how to live on one.

Cynthia McKenney LOST. That was unbelievable. We shall see what happens with that district. The rumour is the victory went to a guy who she says is backed by local Republicans. OK, whatever, at least he hasn't punched out a security guard - yet. Lieberman got served, too. As Jon Stewart said, "So you're for example, a respected, three-term sitting senator who was once his party's vice presidential nominee. The list of things that you would need to do to lose your party's primary starts with strangling a kitten in front of childern in wheelchairs and gets worse from there." (My tea went up the schnaza reading that one.)

99X and Park Tavern are hosting a free concert tonight (Unplugged in the Park). It's an acoustic gig under at tent at the Tavern. The feature artist tonight is Blue October, my current favourite band. I heard over 3,500 people showed up to see Pete Yorn last week, but I still have tenative plans to go to this. It should be interesting. These free shows generally attract folks about 15 years my junior and 3,500 20-somethings is a lot of for a tent. Also, considering the first two opening acts don't start until 7 and 8, my band won't come on until 10ish at best - and that's just about my Sunday nighty-night time. Also, there is NO parking at Piedmont and no real public transit from here, so I have to park at Tech and walk about 15 blocks - hey, MOM, remember Paris 2000?

Also in the news: Happy Belated Birthday to #1 Baby Bro and #2 Baby Anna-Banana who both got a year wiser on August 10. Sounds like Missy was able to pull off the surprise! Congratulations!

And lastly, in the AJC: This from the Vent, "My wife is a real slut. She got pregnant two months after I had the vasectomy I didn't tell her about". OUCH.

Well, the dryer just buzzed, I'm out of wittiness, and I have the hopeful exuberance of someone about to lose her last remaining brain cells thanks to paint stripper and 100-year old heart-of-pine. WEEEEEE! Actually, it shouldn't be so bad today. Mother Nature decided to give us a break and it will only get to 84 and overcast. Nice to have the windows open and get breezes.

It's the Heat, Dumbass

Mikey...




Now, if you don't believe in global warming, you simply are a dumbass.




My arch-nemisis, Southern Company, is filled with them.

From this week's Creative Loafing...

"Oil, mainly in the form of gasoline, is the largest source of the United States' carbon dioxide emissions. But coal is a close second -- and releases more carbon dioxide per unit of energy than does any fossil fuel. Millions of Southerners burn gasoline. But, in the region, one corporation burns much of the coal: Southern Co."





Here's a neat little comparison



vs.

and


No wonder, Georgie doesn't believe in global warming.

Read the whole thing at www.atlanta.creativeloafing.com It just really burns my ass - pardon the pun.

If You're Into Math Problems...

Question:

A Backhoe weighing 8 tons is on top of a flatbed trailer and heading east on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas.

The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, reinforced with 1 ½ inch steel rebar spaced at 6 inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered at 1 foot vertical spacing.


Solve: When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half? (Assume no effect for headwind and no braking by the driver...)


Extra Credit: Solve for the time and distance required for the entire rig to come to a complete stop after hitting the overpass at the speed calculated above. Yes, you can neglect friction...


Think hard.


Get out the calculator and think outside the box.

Do you have the answer, yet?


Well, I fucking hate math problem but MAN, I love the visual aides!











Looks like somebody mighta lost his CDL...

"The Etiquette King"

Bush Blair Gaffe G8



Never mind you can't understand what the commentator is saying, just watch this baffoon eat. Good God, I'm surprised his elbows aren't on the table and he doesn't crank out a big belch before you actually hears what he says.

Dear Former Employer,

With all due respect, E-A-T M-E!

Tech finally found the perfect pooch to screw... freshmen. AND, they made the FRONT PAGE of the AJC.

What girlfriend said 13 years ago still stands true, "what goes around comes around".

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/stories/0802mettech.html

I'm Not One for the Death Penalty

... but Ohio should have fried this bitch



According to CNN:

"CINCINNATI, Ohio (AP) -- A woman who molested at least one of her five children and prompted four of them to have sex with each other has been sentenced to 40 years in prison.

Robin Kraft, 26, had pleaded guilty in June to two charges of rape and four counts of child endangering. Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge David Davis on Friday imposed the maximum sentence, saying Kraft should not be released from prison while she can bear children.

Prosecutors said Kraft and her husband, Paul Kraft, 32, sexually abused their four sons and one daughter, ages 1 to 6, in 2004."

OH YEAH, and if there was a way to fry someone's ass more than once, her husband should be first on the short list...

"In March, Paul Kraft received five life sentences on five rape charges and 96 additional years on 12 charges of pandering sexually oriented material involving a minor. He is ineligible for parole.

In an online exchange, Kraft offered to rape his 3-year-old daughter live on the Internet if another person would do the same so Kraft could watch, prosecutors say. The agent contacted Hamilton County sheriff's deputies, who arrested Kraft at home."

They say he got busted in an online chat room for "baby and pre-teen sex". Now, I've blogged before about what would possess an adult to want to have sex with 14-year old, but fucking babies???? If you want to do something like that, living here would be your best option...

Oh, and whilst looking for that little picture, I found this interesting little test.

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

I won't say where I'll be landing.

I've always just loved Mr. Alighigieri.

Ah Ha! The Experts Have Spoken

Today in the Scotsman (the online Scottish paper I read), was headlined this little blurb...

"CHILDREN from the age of five should be encouraged to drink wine at home to prevent the toll of alcohol abuse in later life, one of the country's leading experts on the problem has told Scotland on Sunday.

Jack Law, chief executive of Alcohol Focus Scotland and a member of the Scottish Ministerial Advisory Committee on Alcohol Problems, believes the practice would cut binge drinking among youngsters by taking the mystery out of alcohol."

Well, I don't know if boozing up your toddler will prevent alcoholism, but it sure makes nappy time a little easier.

Bad Day in Perspective

This lady...



Mrs. Jennifer Ewing

was killed sometime on Wednesday morning. She was a wife and the mother of three - seemingly - intellegent, good kids. According to the AJC's "guest book" (that's where you sign in online as though you were at the funeral), she was a good lady, who loved to bike on this trail in northwest Georgia. Apparently, she went out four or five times a week and rode 60 miles or so. Her daughter said she always went out around 2 and was always home before dark.

Apparently, something happened to her on Tuesday's ride and she never came home.

Now police say this guy...



Michael William Ledford

raped and murdered her on the trail.

How did they catch this little fuckstick, you ask? As the story goes today, this guy went to the hospital with his dick covered in bloody teeth marks. He said he had an altercation with a hooker, but then changed his story a few times. When the police went to check him out, they found out he was a convicted rapist and was just out of jail after serving 10 years. They arrested him because being with a hooker is a parole violation. So, I guess he gets 10 points for being
a fucking idiot.

Oh, and he gets another 20 points for attacking an trained athlete, who rides.... 60 miles x 5 times a week (you do the math) in 94 degree heat. "It does appear that Mrs. Ewing put up a valiant struggle with her attacker," said John Bankhead, a GBI spokesman.

The GBI says dickless was covered in her DNA. This cat will quick fry when he's convicted. Georgia no likey guys who rape and murder good, white, Christian women.

When I first heard this story Wednesday and the family was still looking for her, I really felt for them. I mean, she's been riding this trail for years. Also, they say it's a well traveled path that lots of folks use. For this scum to have just gotten out of jail and for him to be on this path at that time of day... well, I just thought I had bad days. I would imagine a bunch of folks are asking the eternal question, "Why, God".

Rest in peace, Lady.

Bad Day in the Kitchen

This guy...




fucked up my day...

details later

When in Doubt, Consult Mr. Webster

hypocrite (hip' ә krit), n. a person who practices hypocrisy, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. [1175-11225 ME ipocrite]

Hmmm.... so what does "hypocrisy" mean?

↓

hypocrisy (hi pok' ә sē), n., the false profession of desirable or publicly approved qualities, beliefs or feelings, esp. a pretense of having virtues, moral principles, or religious beliefs that one does not really possess [1175-1225; ME ipocrisie] < style="">hypókrisis playacting

Nope, not getting it. I guess I'm one of those single-celled amoebas that needs a visual aide...

OHHHH, you mean....

Alright, so I'll regret asking the common question, but what did he do now?

From CNN:

President Bush used his veto power Wednesday for the first time since taking office 5 1/2 years ago, saying that an embryonic stem-cell research bill "crossed a moral boundary."

Forgive me, but who the fuck is he to preach about moral boundaries?

Bush went on to say, "This bill would support the taking of innocent human life in the hope of finding medical benefits for others."

Well, at least the taking of innocent "human life" would have some fucking purpose besides putting dirty money in your pocket, AssMunch! ... Oops, I mean, "President AssMunch" (I wouldn't want to get caught slandering, or in this case libeling, this monkey --- no offense to monkeys intended).

Who started the war in Iraq that has killed, shit, 20-30 THOUSAND innocent Iraqis? Who started the war in Iraq that has killed over 2,000 Americans and countless numbers of other worldwide followers, who mistakenly followed this baffoon into a battle that was never meant to be fought, much less "won"???

This asshole has -almost- single-handedly destroyed any hope the US might have had as a real time player in world politics (not to take credit away from Rowe, Rumsfeld, or Cheney). I guess we should be glad to be a nuclear power. Shit, otherwise half the world would have blown us straight off the map by now.

NOBODY with half a brain cell gives the US any credence and I'm utterly ashamed to have to show a blue passport when I travel. For Bush to try and lecture about "moral boundaries" makes me want to puke. It's akin to Cheney dissing lesbians. I have never heard such horseshit in my life. And for that PigShit to #1 Veto his very first legislation (shows he's finally paying attention to Congress) and #2 Show up to the press conference with a bunch of fucking embryonic babies is simply ----- fuck----- ikky! That's way too Gattaca-esque for me.

I bet you TEN MILLION dollars that if Baby Jeb were born with Parkinson's Disease, Big Bro would be pushing the stem cell vote right through to L-A-W. Hell, even Nancy Reagan was pushing the bill. Hell, CONGRESS (the Republican Congress) passed the bill - INCLUDING that Nazi, Bill Frist! What the hell is wrong with this picture?

Oh, God. Why won't you please, please whisper to that idiot who is ruining what's left of our country to please just shut up and quit trying to be a valiant noble. Dreams for some should die quietly.

Tony Auth draws it better:





I could continue this diatribe for hours, but there is warm bourbon bread pudding and homemade vanilla ice cream calling me in for vespers. I'll pay the penance tomorrow when I try four miles in 98 degrees. Ah, literally hell on Earth. I wonder how those weenie Brits are handling it?

Finally! Folks are Starting to See the Light

Good cartoon, better article... http://www.rollingstone.com/news/profile/story/9961300/the_worst_president_in_h

OK, so maybe this article was written by liberal historians, but the key word here is "historian". I could have told you on January 2, 2000 that Bush was the worst president ever (actually, I think I did). Sad that it took six years, a massive terrorist attack on US soil, a pre-meditated war in Iraq, the sad, astonishingly fast demise of a blooming economy, a failed rescue of thousands of poor people from one of the worst US disasters ever...... blah, blah, blah

for others to get it.

Actually, I know several people who would agree with me. It's just those handful of folks that I hang out with that still think "he's doing a good job" that jerk my chain. Oh, and the 58 million dipshits that re-elected him in 2004. Hell, even my DAD said he'd vote Democrat in 2008.

Yes, Chicken Little; that would be the sky - duck.

Georgia Voters Finally Got it Right

This little nuggett...




Will NOT be our Lieutenant governor.

Wonder who he'll blame for the loss? Jesus?

RAISE UP AND SAY, "PRAISE BE"!!! Then bring out the snakes.


Now, let's see what happens with the "Queen-Loon", Cynthia, and whether or not Georgia voted to have an overweight redneck or a Southern BEE-atchie duke it out with Sonny P.

I'd say I voted "pound-for-pound", but then again, I think a real bee-atch can beat a man of any size - and that would be my experience speaking.

My Sentiments, Exactly

From today's NY Times...




Thanks TONY AUTH

No Longer Gonna be a City Rat

I'm sick of City living. Yeah, I know it ain't New York or L.A., but with the influx of all these 'burbanites, I'm feeling choked. I got choked out of Virginia-Highlands - my bohemian hideaway - almost five years ago. When my accountant/tax guy says, "Buy a house, get some equity, quit throwing away your money", I should have shot him on the spot.

But, NOOOOOOO - I go out and buy a house that needs more work that Liza Minelli did when she hit 70. And this little gem sits right in the middle of the City because nothing makes me more testy than sitting in traffic, especially with weather like today (mid 90's, 80% humidity).

Oh, and did I mention that the City stinks?

So, I'm going to rent out the house (or maybe commit real estate suicide and sell) and then I'm going to buy this...





Oh, you poo-poo'ers are gonna say, "What the hell do you know about boats". And I naturally would answer, "Well, I've seen 'Captain Ron' about 100 fucking times."

I haven't decided where to moor her yet. One of the main reasons to leave this area is the crap weather that I cannot tolerate anymore in my old age, and when I mentioned the "stink" of the City, one would assume she wouldn't sit in the 'Hooch' or on Lanier or Alatoona (besides they don't have any water in them.)

Actually, I don't know shit about boats, but if I cash in my TRS and continue the catering thing, this could be moi in a year or so. Besides, I can learn and at least I wouldn't have to worry about the cats running away.

There is always, always, hope.

Doggie on a Hardwood Floor

Yep, I agree with him - finally.

Zizou deserves the Golden Ball for the way he commanded the French team the entire tournament (well, except maybe for those first few games). And I agree completely with Zidane's comments yesterday...

Zidane, who retired after his 108th appearance for France, stressed that he felt no regret about his outburst "because that would mean (Materazzi) was right to say all that."

"My act is not forgivable," Zidane said. "But they must also punish the true guilty party, and the guilty party is the one who provokes." (cnn.si.com)

I wish I spoke French so I could know the real translation.

Armageddon Right Around the Corner

Lovely.

Looks like Israel and Lebannon are pissed at each other again- and I mean, really, really, really pissed.

Looks like North Korea is actually cooking up uranium mixed with some plutonium - then tossing it over the Pacific. And some people are suggesting fucking China should clean the kitchen.

Looks like Iraq is becoming a shear hellhole - that one's a no-brainer.

Nobody gives a flying shit about what's happening in Africa.

Putin is playing footsie with autocracy.



Oh yeah... and it looks like India (those "peaceful" Hindus) have decided to join the party.

How is it I open a book this morning and the very first phrase I see is

après mol le déluge...

Then I visit my bud at Yorkshire Soul and this is the first image I see...





(thanks to Yorkshire Soul.org)



Fuck! Tell me again why I quit doing drugs????

I Don't Get It

From CNN today..

"Auschwitz Concentration Camp", a U.N. heritage site, will be renamed "the Former Nazi German Concentration Camp of Auschwitz", the ministry of culture said in a statement.


OK, so if the Poles have issues with the name Auschwitz, why the hell would you change the name to include the word, "Auschwitz".

I've been there.

Took the tour and damn near puked when we got to the room where all the shoes were. If you've never been, this is the place where they put some of the shoes of those who were killed --- and the mound is unbelievable (I would say about nine cubic yards, at best guess).

I had to excuse myself from the group (so tossing my cookies wouldn't offend anyone) and while I was walking around the camp alone, I honestly could feel the true, anguished ghosts every where, and ... it permanently stained my soul.

It was, and still is, the saddest place on earth.

I've got a better name... "Hell: Where Angels were Sent".

What's a Role Model

When I was growing up, I had role models. Specifically, Bugs Bunny, Oscar the Grouch, Pope John Paul II, and Mel Brooks. Now, Bugs taught me to take life in stride; Oscar taught me how to be a bitch when necessary (OK and sometimes I go overboard); The Pope (well, that goes without saying); and Mel taught me how to laugh out loud until my side ached.

How or WHY does anyone want an athlete to be a role model for their kids? If you have to teach your child the virtues of life via a game played by testosterone-driven, sport junkies, something tells me you let your kid watch too much tube. Besides, who decides which athlete should be a role model?

Maradonna, Dennis Rodman, Joe Theisman, John Daly... What makes any of these guy more or less worthy of being coined a "role model"?

Just picked up this little note from Dr. Z on SI.com


http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/dr_z/07/10/zidane/index.html

Here, here!! Apparently, I'm not the only one who learned something from Oscar!

A Strong, Good Image from W.C.

ESPN.com/soccer

Another View

Here we go... the REPLAYs begin:

So... truth may be re-discovered as the replay of the Cup is shown - over, and over...

This should be a good exercise in perspective.

This will be a terribly interesting week (and some time to come,) and opinions are going to fly.

I predict this to become "THE" societal controversy of the decade.

I Would Have Done the Same Thing

Some are saying that this was the most critical aspect of the World Cup.



And if you believe that to be true, count yourself a fucking idiot.


The BEST part of the World Cup (ironically) was Zidane's flip to Henry to beat Brazil cold.

If Materazzi made some sort of racial statement to me, I'd have headed him a little further south.

Besides, Zizou got Golden Ball. How ironic is THAT!

Oh, and to say this little incident cost France the Cup is asinine. Having one player thrown out in the 110th minute didn't do shit. Sadly, the player that lost the Cup was Trezeguet for missing that PK, but even that's not fair. I honestly do not believe the World Cup Final should be decided man-against-man (aka in PKs). Football is a team sport and should be played to the end as a team. If the game goes into a bunch of OTs, then it comes down to which team has the better endurance level.

This Ain't Rocket Science, Folks

From today's Washington Post...

"From deteriorating security in Afghanistan and Somalia to mayhem in the Middle East, confrontation with Iran and eroding relations with Russia, the White House suddenly sees crisis in every direction."

Duh?

But some folks re-elected this idiot in 2004.

AND, there are 36 percent of brain-dead MOE-Rons in America that still think he's doing a "good job".

Save me.

That Tahitian pool bar job is looking pretty good right now.

And it was Decided...

Even though I'm half Italian, I'm going to pull for France... only because they have played so well and Zidane has agreed to have my children.

Good luck on Sunday.

You know I'll be wearing French colours!

My best to Anne and Ewen. Let him know that it's good luck to have "patient old men" run the winning team for his first World Cup. Patient old women aren't too shabby, either.

I'll probably text or call some of you whilst at the Brewhouse.

Fry His Stupid Ass

This fucking moron is Dallas Austin. He is a big-time Atlanta music producer, who on his way to Naomi Campbell's birthday bash in Dubai, got popped at the airport carrying 1.26 oz of coke - and I don't mean the canned stuff.

He just pleaded guilty in court, but qualified it by saying, "I'm pleading guilty but by mistake. I had no knowledge and no intention of violating the laws of the U.A.E."

Whaaaaa????? How the hell do you NOT know you're carrying a couple of eight-balls of coke in your fucking suitcase? If I had 1.26 O-Zs of coke, it certainly wouldn't be in my suitase. It would be up my nose.

Besides, what absolute MOE-RON carries anything, liquor, weed, coke... whatever... into an ARAB country???

This is a headline in the AJC only because our illustrious mayor hired him to create the theme song for Atlanta's "rebirth", which happens to completely suck on so many levels. Of course, Shirley says she knows nothing about his arrest.

Looks like Dallas will be out of a job for a long while as the UAE has a manditory prison sentence of four years for posssession. But, considering he was carrying 1.26 oz, it may be considered distribution.

He should get four years for just being a dipshit.

Mid-Life Crisis Advice

As I just celebrated, or should I say "struggled", through my post-35 year birthday, these words from my pal, Maya Angelou, come in handy... Of course, I'm not sure I agree with the first one.


#1 I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

#2 I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

#3 I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

#4 I’ve learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life.

#5 I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

#6 I’ve learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.

#7 I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

#8 I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

#9 I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.

#10 People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

#11 I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

#12 I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Another Mikey

If that Dumbass Bush really thinks the NYT article about digging into bank records violates national security, fuck him. He's really digging, here. When the hell will the 36 percent of dipshits in this country realize BUSH is a violation of national security?

Words are not Enough

Deductive Reasoning

If you live in G-E-O-R-G-I-A

and,

it's the dead of S-U-M-M-E-R

and,

it's 92 degrees with 90% humidity

and,

you don't have enough money to buy a condensing unit, a line set and a few feet of duct...

and,

you truly believe you're entitled to a handout

but,

you truly think a good summer job is selling crack on the side of the road


then,

logic would have it that...


you're way too fucking stupid and lazy to have a pet.


The pigs across the street have a dog I know they are breeding to fight. The pigs next door have a puppy that they can barely feed. Neither of these animals have been spayed or neutered. How do I know that? Because they don't even know how to neuter their own family members. If a 22-year old has a four-year old kid, who needs a spay job?

One of the problems with irresponsible pet owners is that they don't fix their animals. Then the animals get out, let nature take over, then we have more animals. Since the dipshits that started this mess can't even feed their own kids, they let these animals loose and they become stray.

These stray dogs killed my cat. "Linus, the Cat, the Squirrely, Squirrely Cat" (if you know the story of the squirrels, you'll get the reference).

"Linus-of-the-jungle".

I miss my cat.

The best thing about Linus was that he HUNTED because it was his nature. I had dead squirrels, rats, mice, birds, roaches, rats... you name it - show up on my back porch when he was on patrol. This was a "thanks" for him. Had he thought anything different, he would have eaten these critters and left their bones in the woods, but he knew he had been well fed and he was only bringing me back what he could.

The first time I've ever wanted to kill an animal was when I realized these stray dogs had killed Linus. Then I re-directed that anger to where it belongs... now I'm going to kill the pigs across the street who put those dogs in that situation.

Maybe when I finish the task and they begin a run to the Pearly Gates, they will find that God is actually a four-legged furry critter and He will exact His revenge appropriately.

Rest in Peace, Linus-the-CAT. I hope you got to Heaven and realize it is actually one big CATNIP farm. I'll always miss you, Tiger.

Why the US Should NOT have a Football Team

Because after that astonishing game yesterday where France rose up and kicked the mierda out of Spain, the only mention of the game in today's AJC was a third page pseudo-paragraph.

The US doesn't deserve a team, much less one that should go to the World Cup. If you can't make the front page of the SPORT section of this once-in-a-four-year event... go and stay HOME.

Do Not Tell Me

... that some of us didn't evolve from apes -




or ferrets -





or dorkfish -




DAMN, Vanity Fair is selling a book with portraits of all these World Cup players. Sadly, it looks like all the photos were taken just after the game. They even managed to make Boy-Becks and Zindane look like shit. Who the hell wants a book that does that?

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange, who?


Orange you glad you ain't on the US football team?


That's got to be a total bum flight home. However, if you can't run with the big dawgs, stay on the porch. They say Arena will get shitcanned for the US show in Germany this year. I think they should shitcan the whole team and start over. I mean, if you're my age and heavily medicated, you shouldn't showcase your sorry ass running around a football field on international television.

Italy finally turned on the gas yesterday. You can tell that Brazil is still holding back, but by next week, they should really turn it up, too. The Germans should send the Swedes home tomorrow and hopefully BIG ORANGE will take the Portugese.

And some words of advice for fans, be sure the paint you use to show your team colours is washable, especially if it's blue and orange. Duh.