My Sentiments, Exactly

From today's NY Times...




Thanks TONY AUTH

No Longer Gonna be a City Rat

I'm sick of City living. Yeah, I know it ain't New York or L.A., but with the influx of all these 'burbanites, I'm feeling choked. I got choked out of Virginia-Highlands - my bohemian hideaway - almost five years ago. When my accountant/tax guy says, "Buy a house, get some equity, quit throwing away your money", I should have shot him on the spot.

But, NOOOOOOO - I go out and buy a house that needs more work that Liza Minelli did when she hit 70. And this little gem sits right in the middle of the City because nothing makes me more testy than sitting in traffic, especially with weather like today (mid 90's, 80% humidity).

Oh, and did I mention that the City stinks?

So, I'm going to rent out the house (or maybe commit real estate suicide and sell) and then I'm going to buy this...





Oh, you poo-poo'ers are gonna say, "What the hell do you know about boats". And I naturally would answer, "Well, I've seen 'Captain Ron' about 100 fucking times."

I haven't decided where to moor her yet. One of the main reasons to leave this area is the crap weather that I cannot tolerate anymore in my old age, and when I mentioned the "stink" of the City, one would assume she wouldn't sit in the 'Hooch' or on Lanier or Alatoona (besides they don't have any water in them.)

Actually, I don't know shit about boats, but if I cash in my TRS and continue the catering thing, this could be moi in a year or so. Besides, I can learn and at least I wouldn't have to worry about the cats running away.

There is always, always, hope.

Doggie on a Hardwood Floor

Yep, I agree with him - finally.

Zizou deserves the Golden Ball for the way he commanded the French team the entire tournament (well, except maybe for those first few games). And I agree completely with Zidane's comments yesterday...

Zidane, who retired after his 108th appearance for France, stressed that he felt no regret about his outburst "because that would mean (Materazzi) was right to say all that."

"My act is not forgivable," Zidane said. "But they must also punish the true guilty party, and the guilty party is the one who provokes." (cnn.si.com)

I wish I spoke French so I could know the real translation.

Armageddon Right Around the Corner

Lovely.

Looks like Israel and Lebannon are pissed at each other again- and I mean, really, really, really pissed.

Looks like North Korea is actually cooking up uranium mixed with some plutonium - then tossing it over the Pacific. And some people are suggesting fucking China should clean the kitchen.

Looks like Iraq is becoming a shear hellhole - that one's a no-brainer.

Nobody gives a flying shit about what's happening in Africa.

Putin is playing footsie with autocracy.



Oh yeah... and it looks like India (those "peaceful" Hindus) have decided to join the party.

How is it I open a book this morning and the very first phrase I see is

après mol le déluge...

Then I visit my bud at Yorkshire Soul and this is the first image I see...





(thanks to Yorkshire Soul.org)



Fuck! Tell me again why I quit doing drugs????

I Don't Get It

From CNN today..

"Auschwitz Concentration Camp", a U.N. heritage site, will be renamed "the Former Nazi German Concentration Camp of Auschwitz", the ministry of culture said in a statement.


OK, so if the Poles have issues with the name Auschwitz, why the hell would you change the name to include the word, "Auschwitz".

I've been there.

Took the tour and damn near puked when we got to the room where all the shoes were. If you've never been, this is the place where they put some of the shoes of those who were killed --- and the mound is unbelievable (I would say about nine cubic yards, at best guess).

I had to excuse myself from the group (so tossing my cookies wouldn't offend anyone) and while I was walking around the camp alone, I honestly could feel the true, anguished ghosts every where, and ... it permanently stained my soul.

It was, and still is, the saddest place on earth.

I've got a better name... "Hell: Where Angels were Sent".

What's a Role Model

When I was growing up, I had role models. Specifically, Bugs Bunny, Oscar the Grouch, Pope John Paul II, and Mel Brooks. Now, Bugs taught me to take life in stride; Oscar taught me how to be a bitch when necessary (OK and sometimes I go overboard); The Pope (well, that goes without saying); and Mel taught me how to laugh out loud until my side ached.

How or WHY does anyone want an athlete to be a role model for their kids? If you have to teach your child the virtues of life via a game played by testosterone-driven, sport junkies, something tells me you let your kid watch too much tube. Besides, who decides which athlete should be a role model?

Maradonna, Dennis Rodman, Joe Theisman, John Daly... What makes any of these guy more or less worthy of being coined a "role model"?

Just picked up this little note from Dr. Z on SI.com


http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/dr_z/07/10/zidane/index.html

Here, here!! Apparently, I'm not the only one who learned something from Oscar!

A Strong, Good Image from W.C.

ESPN.com/soccer

Another View

Here we go... the REPLAYs begin:

So... truth may be re-discovered as the replay of the Cup is shown - over, and over...

This should be a good exercise in perspective.

This will be a terribly interesting week (and some time to come,) and opinions are going to fly.

I predict this to become "THE" societal controversy of the decade.

I Would Have Done the Same Thing

Some are saying that this was the most critical aspect of the World Cup.



And if you believe that to be true, count yourself a fucking idiot.


The BEST part of the World Cup (ironically) was Zidane's flip to Henry to beat Brazil cold.

If Materazzi made some sort of racial statement to me, I'd have headed him a little further south.

Besides, Zizou got Golden Ball. How ironic is THAT!

Oh, and to say this little incident cost France the Cup is asinine. Having one player thrown out in the 110th minute didn't do shit. Sadly, the player that lost the Cup was Trezeguet for missing that PK, but even that's not fair. I honestly do not believe the World Cup Final should be decided man-against-man (aka in PKs). Football is a team sport and should be played to the end as a team. If the game goes into a bunch of OTs, then it comes down to which team has the better endurance level.

This Ain't Rocket Science, Folks

From today's Washington Post...

"From deteriorating security in Afghanistan and Somalia to mayhem in the Middle East, confrontation with Iran and eroding relations with Russia, the White House suddenly sees crisis in every direction."

Duh?

But some folks re-elected this idiot in 2004.

AND, there are 36 percent of brain-dead MOE-Rons in America that still think he's doing a "good job".

Save me.

That Tahitian pool bar job is looking pretty good right now.

And it was Decided...

Even though I'm half Italian, I'm going to pull for France... only because they have played so well and Zidane has agreed to have my children.

Good luck on Sunday.

You know I'll be wearing French colours!

My best to Anne and Ewen. Let him know that it's good luck to have "patient old men" run the winning team for his first World Cup. Patient old women aren't too shabby, either.

I'll probably text or call some of you whilst at the Brewhouse.

Fry His Stupid Ass

This fucking moron is Dallas Austin. He is a big-time Atlanta music producer, who on his way to Naomi Campbell's birthday bash in Dubai, got popped at the airport carrying 1.26 oz of coke - and I don't mean the canned stuff.

He just pleaded guilty in court, but qualified it by saying, "I'm pleading guilty but by mistake. I had no knowledge and no intention of violating the laws of the U.A.E."

Whaaaaa????? How the hell do you NOT know you're carrying a couple of eight-balls of coke in your fucking suitcase? If I had 1.26 O-Zs of coke, it certainly wouldn't be in my suitase. It would be up my nose.

Besides, what absolute MOE-RON carries anything, liquor, weed, coke... whatever... into an ARAB country???

This is a headline in the AJC only because our illustrious mayor hired him to create the theme song for Atlanta's "rebirth", which happens to completely suck on so many levels. Of course, Shirley says she knows nothing about his arrest.

Looks like Dallas will be out of a job for a long while as the UAE has a manditory prison sentence of four years for posssession. But, considering he was carrying 1.26 oz, it may be considered distribution.

He should get four years for just being a dipshit.

Mid-Life Crisis Advice

As I just celebrated, or should I say "struggled", through my post-35 year birthday, these words from my pal, Maya Angelou, come in handy... Of course, I'm not sure I agree with the first one.


#1 I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

#2 I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

#3 I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

#4 I’ve learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life.

#5 I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

#6 I’ve learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.

#7 I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

#8 I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

#9 I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.

#10 People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

#11 I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

#12 I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Another Mikey

If that Dumbass Bush really thinks the NYT article about digging into bank records violates national security, fuck him. He's really digging, here. When the hell will the 36 percent of dipshits in this country realize BUSH is a violation of national security?

Words are not Enough

Deductive Reasoning

If you live in G-E-O-R-G-I-A

and,

it's the dead of S-U-M-M-E-R

and,

it's 92 degrees with 90% humidity

and,

you don't have enough money to buy a condensing unit, a line set and a few feet of duct...

and,

you truly believe you're entitled to a handout

but,

you truly think a good summer job is selling crack on the side of the road


then,

logic would have it that...


you're way too fucking stupid and lazy to have a pet.


The pigs across the street have a dog I know they are breeding to fight. The pigs next door have a puppy that they can barely feed. Neither of these animals have been spayed or neutered. How do I know that? Because they don't even know how to neuter their own family members. If a 22-year old has a four-year old kid, who needs a spay job?

One of the problems with irresponsible pet owners is that they don't fix their animals. Then the animals get out, let nature take over, then we have more animals. Since the dipshits that started this mess can't even feed their own kids, they let these animals loose and they become stray.

These stray dogs killed my cat. "Linus, the Cat, the Squirrely, Squirrely Cat" (if you know the story of the squirrels, you'll get the reference).

"Linus-of-the-jungle".

I miss my cat.

The best thing about Linus was that he HUNTED because it was his nature. I had dead squirrels, rats, mice, birds, roaches, rats... you name it - show up on my back porch when he was on patrol. This was a "thanks" for him. Had he thought anything different, he would have eaten these critters and left their bones in the woods, but he knew he had been well fed and he was only bringing me back what he could.

The first time I've ever wanted to kill an animal was when I realized these stray dogs had killed Linus. Then I re-directed that anger to where it belongs... now I'm going to kill the pigs across the street who put those dogs in that situation.

Maybe when I finish the task and they begin a run to the Pearly Gates, they will find that God is actually a four-legged furry critter and He will exact His revenge appropriately.

Rest in Peace, Linus-the-CAT. I hope you got to Heaven and realize it is actually one big CATNIP farm. I'll always miss you, Tiger.

Why the US Should NOT have a Football Team

Because after that astonishing game yesterday where France rose up and kicked the mierda out of Spain, the only mention of the game in today's AJC was a third page pseudo-paragraph.

The US doesn't deserve a team, much less one that should go to the World Cup. If you can't make the front page of the SPORT section of this once-in-a-four-year event... go and stay HOME.

Do Not Tell Me

... that some of us didn't evolve from apes -




or ferrets -





or dorkfish -




DAMN, Vanity Fair is selling a book with portraits of all these World Cup players. Sadly, it looks like all the photos were taken just after the game. They even managed to make Boy-Becks and Zindane look like shit. Who the hell wants a book that does that?

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange, who?


Orange you glad you ain't on the US football team?


That's got to be a total bum flight home. However, if you can't run with the big dawgs, stay on the porch. They say Arena will get shitcanned for the US show in Germany this year. I think they should shitcan the whole team and start over. I mean, if you're my age and heavily medicated, you shouldn't showcase your sorry ass running around a football field on international television.

Italy finally turned on the gas yesterday. You can tell that Brazil is still holding back, but by next week, they should really turn it up, too. The Germans should send the Swedes home tomorrow and hopefully BIG ORANGE will take the Portugese.

And some words of advice for fans, be sure the paint you use to show your team colours is washable, especially if it's blue and orange. Duh.

Destination Chill

Pick one. I'll give you a hint as to location: Es necessario que habla español aquí. AND, we won't freeze our asses off this time.






or





or




or



The middle of November would be a good time to go. That's only about 147 days.

Then there is this place...



which came highly recommended by my friend and local sadist, Nellie, who is Venezuelan (gave that one away right there).