Flip a Coin

Apparently, Presindent Elect of Ukraine, Yanukovych, has "won" by three percentage points. Bush says that means there aren't enough votes to declare him the winner and they need new elections to give his (and Putin's) puppet another chance. However, last time I checked, Bush won by three percentage points (or less as some polls would suggest) and he called it an outright victory. Come on Georgie, even you can flip a coin.

First thing this morning, I log onto CNN and there's Georgie with Condi boarding a plane to Canada. Remember the "White on Rice" blog a few weeks ago? I ask you, if I'm not on the mark, why the hell is the National Security Advisor going to fucking Cannuck-land with Georgie? Are our northern neigbours now part of the Asses-of-Evil? Yup. OK Georgie, who's it gonna be - Laura-the-Librarian or Bust-your-balls-Condi? Heehehe. I have visions of Dominatrix/CatWoman and a black leather whip, slashing away at a whinning Monkey-man, demanding him to shout, "Who's your mamma?" Should I start packing for Cuba, now?

Here we go again with the Right-to-Lifers. You know, those MEN who think they have a right to tell a woman whether or not she can safely have an abortion. Aren't these the same people who believe in assault rifle bans, capital punishment, a ban on stem cell research? Which one is it, fellas? As George Carlin would say, "I guess you call yourselves "Right to Lifers" as long as you get to chose the life??"

And lastly, Goodbye "Red-Alert-Ridge". Hopefully, his replacement won't continue to sit there and say how much safer this country is since Bush attacked Iraq. No coin needed here, folks. The writing is clear.

Bill Cosby Ain't Bein' Funny Now

Bill Cosby is in town tonight. You know, the hilarious comedian who did his entire stand-up routine without one dirty word? Apparently, DOCTOR Cosby - that's right - he has a doctorate in Education - will be at Douglass High School tonight sending out a loud (not so funny message). According to Cosby and the AJC, That message is: "Too many young black men and women have devalued life, judgment and morals in favor of a life filled with low expectations, few options and irresponsibility."

See http://www.ajc.com/news/content/metro/atlanta/1104/18cosby.html

Now, my normally pip-squeek-quiet Roomie had this to say when I sent him the article of Dr. Cosby's address:

"I applaud Bill Cosby's crusade and wish I could do something to help. He hits the nail on the head, where, if a Caucasian said it, they would be labeled racist. Any African-American that criticizes his truth, are indeed showing their true colors (pun intended). Would it be out of line to show up at Douglass High School as a Caucasian supporter of Bill Cosby's message?

I'd vote for Bill Cosby as the first African-American President in a heartbeat."

Now, this coming from a true Southern, Atlanta born and raised, self-proclaimed Redneck is actually quite eloquent and thought provoking. However, we both live in a neighbourhood that is riddled with people who think they deserve to be treated in a special way simply because of their skin colour.

One of the best quotes Cosby gives in the article is this:

"People who are worried about what white people hear Bill Cosby saying have their heads in the sand," he said. "Do you really think that white people — while riding on the bus, listening to our people get out of school, hearing them use profanity, watching how they address each other with 'nigger' — don't know? You think that these white people don't go back and tell their friends about the horrors of having to ride the bus?"

Come to our neigbourhood and see and hear exactly what he's talking about. It makes my stomach turn - and it's all a matter of lack of respect for oneself and one's community.

Here's a good example:



This is what my trashy neigbours leave in front of their house each week. These are African-Americans, renting a house, they're young (mid-20's) with several kids that only know words that you see on occasion at IbeJO (no offense JO, but you get my drift). Most of the time during the school day, these kids hang out in the driveway, smoking weed and listening to the MOST offense music at the MOST intolerable decibels.

I'm almost tempted to go see Dr. Cosby tonight. I agree with him 1,000 times, but I can say that because - I can't believe I'm going to quote Roomie here, I would be "labeled a racist."

American Coastopia

Thanks to mum for sending this. I do feel a little better even though I'm still smartin' over the phenomenal blunder of November 2nd.

An Alternative to moving to Canada....
American Coastopia!


Ladies and gentlemen, you needn't fret anymore. We have decided that we can't live in the United States anymore, because so many of you in the "heartland" are so full of shit. We were all going to move to various other countries, but then we thought - why should WE move?

We are tired of rednecks in Oklahoma picking the leader who will determine if it is safe for us to cross the Brooklyn Bridge. We are sick of homophobic knuckle-draggers in Wyoming contributing to the national debate on our gay marriages. So we have done the only thing we could.

We seceded.

May I present to you: AMERICAN COASTOPIA.

That's right, American Coastopia. The states of Washington, Oregon and California are joining us on one coast, and we will provide all of New England. In the middle of the country, we have taken Iowa and Illinois, mostly because we need the fine produce of Iowa's soil, and the museums in Chicago are fabulous.

The other dot is New Orleans, which you don't deserve. American Coastopia needs a place to gamble, and the locals want nothing to do with you.

Sure, you can visit, but it isn't part of your country anymore.

I can sense your worry. Who will get all the banks? You can fucking have most of them, because we're taking downtown and midtown Manhattan back, turning the whole thing into a giant artist colony replete with movie studios and progressive think tanks. Wall Street and other financial institutions will be relocated to Charlotte, which we believe will suit your needs better. Frankly, the good folks in Manhattan are sick of being a terrorist target for your benefit.

A word about our politics. Abortions will be safe and legal in American Coastopia, and homosexual men and women will be free to marry at their discretion. We will have our own currency, and trade with any countries we want. Everyone will have health care. Everyone will have an identity card. Homelessness and unemployment will be virtually unknown. We believe in a meritocracy and a huge chasm between church and state. 100% of our cars will be hybrid by 2006.

Yes, we're taking all the people that ever created everything beautiful. Yes, we're taking all the funny people too. All the sculptors, architects, surgeons, philosophers, violinists and fishermen. You should have treated them better when you had them. We have no pledge of allegiance, but I can say this: I am no longer from your United States of America. I belong to American Coastopia, the United States of My Friends, the Nation of Two: my wife and myself.

We hold our noses as we fly over you. We are sickened by the way you treat people that are different from you. The rest of the world despises America, and we don't want to be lumped in with you anymore.

Please, all of you who went to bed last night sick with worry, come to us. In American Coastopia, the light is always on, the hazelnut lattes are always hot, and we have a trundle bed for each and every one of you.

Like White on Rice

So, Georgie has decided to nominate Condolezza Rice as Secretary of State. This, if you didn't know, requires a person with unquestionable diplomatic skills. The last time I checked, Condie was the war monger positioned behind Donny and Dick, pushing the Prez to attack Iraq. Even the honourable Colin Powell admitted that he regretted some of the things he said to the UN Security Council about the WMD that Saddam never had.

So, after watching Fahrenheit 9-11 with my extremely politically savvy cousin, I asked her, why would a woman as smart as Rice work for such a fucking MOE-Ron as Bush? The answer, oh so obvious today...

Georgie's been giving Condi the Big Bone (or in his case, a bone nonetheless).

For those of you who aren't as educated in the vulgar vernacular - he's sleeping with her. I mean, for Christ's sakes, NBC News just said that she goes on all holidays with Bush and we all know that he has been on holiday more than on the job since 2000.

So, thanks to Roomie for the Southern expression... "Like white on Rice" and thanks to Cuz for the "Moment of Enlightenment". Too funny, but equally, too sad. Glad to know that George has nominated a war monger for Secretary of State. Goodbye, Kind Powell (and goodbye international relations). We will truly miss your diplomacy and generosity. At least I don't have to question - any longer - why you work for Bush. And now, I'm sure as to why I don't have to question why Condi works for Bush.

PS. Most likely this is the most inflammatory thing I have blogged so if you don't see me write in a few days, naturally assume BIG BROTHER has paid me a visit and I'm shackin' up at Git Moe.

Yet Another Sad Day

So what has this world come to when terrorists kill a woman like Margaret Hassan? I mean, she did nothing whatsoever except love a country and its people. By blowing off her head, I would have to say that truly punctuates the situation in Iraq. Insurgents will do anything to protect their country and their way of life, even to the point of killing an innocent woman.

Now, at the same time, a video has also been produced showing an American Marine blowing the head off an unarmed Iraqi. The radio show I listen to on my way to work critisized the media because they were showing the video and "people were going to take it out of context." Let's see, we have 1) A US Marine 2) The Marine is holding a rifle 3) The Marine is screaming nasties and going ballistic 4) The Iraqi with no gun 5) The Iraqi's noodle all over the floor. No grey area there, folks. Pretty straight forward if you ask me. I mean, what conclusions should I draw?

I just have to ask: Who's the fucking terrorist?

What Happened to Menopause?

Alrighty here, what the hell is going on? First, there was a 56-year old woman in New York that had a baby on Tuesday, now the AJC reports there is a 59-year old great-grandmother in Sylvester (that would be poe-dunk South Georgia) who is going to have twins.

"For this mother of five, grandmother of 14 and great-grandmother of six, the news of her pregnancy was even more shocking considering she had her tubes tied after the birth of her last child — 33 years ago. 'They came untied,' she said."

That just isn't right. I mean it's bad enough that these kids have to grow up in Sylvester, Georgia, but now they're going to be younger than their great nieces and nephews? How twisted are these kids going to be? Besides that, they'll be lucky if their parents live long enough to see them graduate high school - oh yeah, I forgot we were talking about Sylvester, GA. What high school?

Come on peeps - if you can keep your pecker in your pants when you're sixty years old - good for you! But wear a goddamn helmet when you go into battle.

Place Your Bets, Place Your Bets

OK - Now that Buttmunch Bush has been re-elected, which one will it be first: 1) the abolition of the separation of church and state OR 2) the reversal of Roe vs. Wade?

Granted, both are coming to the new Jesusland soon, but which one will be first? Me thinks... drum roll, please... the abolition of church and state. Why? Check out this little ditty in today's AJC

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/metro/cobb/1004/07evolution.html

See, Cobb County is one of Atlanta's metro counties that is about as backward as they come. Most folks that live in Cobb have new money, are Conservative Southern Baptists, and many even live in trailer homes smaller than the four-wheel pickup trucks they drive. The folks in Cobb have been trying desperately to eliminate the teaching of good ol' Darwin in the school system for years, and thanks to the appointment of Kathy Cox - School Superintendent, they're getting a little closer each day. Right now, those trailer trashers are scheming to put this:



in all biology books.

Yeah, it's soft and it is seemingly innoculous, but Kathy Cox started out as a kindergarten teacher, too.

The thing that worries me the most is that George is going to most likely elect - and Congres will approve - four Bible-thumpin' buddies as Supreme Court Justices during his next term. That should make life much easier for those who think Darwin was a crack addict.

The Brits Are Brilliant

Check out the cover of the Daily Mirror the day after the US election. This and the articles since then give me hope that the rest of the world might not blame all of us for what happened on Tuesday.

Forgive Us Father, for Half of Us Have Truly Sinned

This morning, around 7AM, this asshole in my office came in screaming about how much of an idiot Kerry was for trying to contest the election. I quietly reminded him that politics and religion were inappropriate issues in the work place and he verbally attacked me, threatened me, then told me, "I should be proud to be an American". I told him that I was actually ashamed to be an American, especially since he represented the same type of barbaric, neoconservative, ultra-rightwinged, Christian, bible-thumping, backward-assed morons that voted for Bush. I haven't been this angry in a long time; however, I'm not going to debate with the brainless.

This is my mourning blog. Nothing more tonight as I am too livid, sad, surprised, angry, ashamed, and downright sickened to express myself in a mature manner. Rest assured, more is to come. Like Jon Stewart said, "The only good thing about Bush getting re-elected is that I am guaranteed another four years as 'Daily Show' anchorman." I would think that Bill Maher and Chris Matthews fall within the same job security platform.

Here, here.

I might even make a movie since I can't watch another four years of that fucking monkey pretend to be the leader of the free world and Michael Moore take all the credit.

And Let the Games Begin

So today is the day when millions of people will go out and decide the fate of this country for the next four years and perhaps the next four decades. Normally, I do not consider myself an optimist, but I have hope today that Kerry will defeat Bush - fair and square, with a definative majority of votes. Why? I saw last night that the US has registered over 15 million new voters and 58% of those new voters said they would vote for Kerry.

Now, I don't put a lot of faith in pollsters even though my college statistics prof proved that polls are worthy, but I have a rational idea that those new voters are scared shitless about the future of our country and our place in this world. And, considering they didn't vote in 2000, they're feeling like MO-Rons because it is common knowledge - at least to those of us who have a brain - that Bush "won" in 2000 by only a handful of votes.

What really blows my mind is that in the 2000 election, over 20 million women chose not to vote. Granted, some of these women are probably too stupid to realize they have that right in this country or some of those women probably believe they will get bashed over the head by their Neanderthal husband if they voice an opinion and exercised their right to vote, but COME ON! 20 MILLION??? This really bugs me because these are WOMEN! You didn't even have the right to vote until 1920 so how can you be apathetic when it comes to voting for the one person who can change the rules that dictate your life (think I'm joking? Look at how many Supreme Court Justices will retire during the next presidential term.)

It really jerks my chain that a woman has not been president - yet. Our sex is more intellegent, more compassionate, and much more rational that our male counterparts (sorry if I offend some of you, but the facts are facts - live with it or prove my point.) We would naturally make for a better president. But until that day comes, we will continue to have to live by the rules set by the men. That being said, why would any woman not want to chose who those men should be?

Mahatma Ghandi once said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Go out and vote. If 120 million people go to the polls today, the overwhelming perception is that Kerry will become our 44th President of the United States and we will experience the most positive, optimistic change this country has ever seen in it's relatively short history.