Holy Freezer-pops, Batman

Woke up yesterday morning to this...




This intersection isn't too far from the house. Needless to say, we kept our fingers crossed and prayed that 1) we wouldn't lose power and 2) a branch from our beloved pecan trees wouldn't come crashing through the roof. Neither happened, thank you very much. Oddly, we seem to be the only ones around that have power. Usually, if the wind blows at all, we get dumped first which is why we chose natural gas for our heat and water. We figured if we lost power, we could take long hot showers and I would be baking all day, but as it is, I think I am suffering from a relapse of mono (way too sore throat, body feels like it's been hit by a mach truck and sleep is all I can do with any real gusto). For those of you who don't know, if you ever get mono, you will never get rid of it... it just kinda goes into hibernation and creeps up when you least expect it. Hopefully, it will only last a few days, because it really does make you feel like the end of the world is near.

What's really depressing is that I can't do my treadmill today. Even if I felt like doing it yesterday, there's no way I could have gotten down the driveway. Roomie went out yesterday to get something out of the car and damn near slid into the side of the house. Steep, ice-covered driveways suck. Of course, nobody thought the storm was going to be that bad so we didn't think to go to the grocery. The only thing in the house to eat was bread and cheese. Roomie said he must have eaten 40 pieces of cheese toast yesterday.

Today things are improving somewhat. The temperature is hovering around 40 degrees which is causing the ice to melt very quickly. It makes me a little bit jumpy to hear the ice crash on the roof, but at least its still not hanging on to the branches.

Well, I went on a job interview on Friday. This guy calls me up on Wednesday and says a friend of his has told him that I am an excellent project manager and I'm looking for a change of pace. When I met him, he looked like he was 25 years old, but he owns his own construction firm in downtown and he says he did about 6.5 million in business last year. Of course, he's only been in business for a year and a half. We're going to talk again later in the week and there is no rush as he really is just looking to build up his business. The only scary thing - and it's a big thing - there's no job security in the private sector. That's not to say I have a lot of job security with the state, especially since budgets are getting cut right and left, but I've been doing the same thing for 11 years and they still haven't gotten rid of me. I didn't talk price with this "kid" on Friday so that could be the proverbial straw. I don't think he knows what kind of money I make and I'm not sure he'd be able to pay me what it would take to get me to leave - but I'm pretty sure I impressed him with my resume and my experience so maybe he's got an open checkbook. If nothing else, I had me first interview since 1993 and I'm not so out of practice. We'll have to see. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed and hoping to go back to Europe.

Speaking of other places, looks like Iraqis found the guts to go out and vote today - good for them. I mean, if anyone ever took advantage of the fact that almost anyone can vote in this country, today would be a good day to rethink their freedoms.

Gotta run, lots of b-movie re-runs on and the space heater in the den is calling.

Here We Go Again

OK, so the crackhead Republicans are now in control over the Georgia Legislature. Their first two orders of business;

First - Introduce a law banning all abortion unless childbirth risks the life of the mother - that's right, even if you get pregnant via incest or rape, you're still going to have to have the little one-eyed monster if you live in the state of Georgia. See, that was actually a law here several years ago which explains why a bunch of folks - especially in Georgia mountains, ain't got a lot of branches in their family tree.

Second - Try to ban all forms of the teaching of evolution in all schools. Going back to those whose daddies are their brothers who are the husbands of their sisters - hmmmmm, I guess that's how they explain how Cain and Abel were capable of populating the world - incest is best.

Thankfully, neither of these passed. I would have to think even the backward-ass dip-shits understand that the few Democrats left would have come up with yet another archiac, redneck passion - lynching. I for one would have been down at the capitol building with a club in one hand and a rope in another, just waiting to inflict my own form of population control.

Holy shit - I've still got 3 years and 11 months to put up with this crap. No wonder we are ranked #50 on the list of stupidest fucking people in the country. For godssakes, even Texas ranks higher.

"Jumpy teens died in store they came to rob"

Yup, "Jumpy" is a word the Atlanta Journal Constitution uses to justify the behaviour of two teenagers who had their heads blown off in a poe-dunk redneck town outside of Athens.

According to the AJC and other local news, two teenagers walked into a store in Ogelthorpe County and demanded money. The news said the owners of the store were "going to give them the money", but the kids got "jumpy" and pulled out a gun.

The owners shot both kids dead.

Neither of the owners was hurt and neither of the owners will face any charges because "it was their right to protect their property."

I've always been told that in Georgia there are specific laws governing how and when you are allowed to blow off someone's fucking head. If someone breaks into my house to steal something and I happen to catch them and want to kill them, it is absolutely my right to do so. The only minor hang-up - and it really is minor - is if they happen to be running away from my 12-gauge when I shoot them. If that's the case, I need to make sure I put at least one bullet in their face and be sure to drag them back into my house (wiping away any trace of blood in the process.) See, if I kill them on my front porch, I go to jail. I kill 'em in my house - free as a bird.

How many other folks out their have Jethro-laws like this one? I mean, I guess it makes sense on some primal, special-ed level, but really...

Michael's Boo-Boo and Moore

Well, Michael Moore should have counted his blessings and submitted his film for Best Documentary at this year's Acadamy Awards, now he has been completely shut-out. At least that Bible-toting, born-again Freakboy, Gibson, only got ass-kissy nominations like best make-up. If figure if they had a category for Most Gorey and Most Violent, he could walk away with two statues. After all, he knew that since his was to be a "religious" film, he couldn't have sex in the movie and we all know what that means for Hollywood - the least amount of sex, the more amount of violence if you want to sell tickets, especially to those equally bigoted, hypocritical, Bible-toting, born-again freakboys.

Now, Mr. Foxx on the other hand, has impressed me to no end this year. I remember him on "In Living Colour" from my salad days at Auburn. I would have never thought to see him as a double candidate for Oscar, even if the movie, "Collateral" totally sucked. Try to catch Jamie Foxx on "Inside the Actor's Studio". Not only is the man funny, but he tells some very poignant tales of his life and what has gotten him to where he is now. His acceptance speech at the Golden Globes was also a highlight to that evening. Click on Jamie Foxx "video" on this page if you missed it

http://www.hfpa.org/goldenglobeawards.html

As for "The Aviator", I think I would need to smoke a half kilo of killer weed to sit through three hours of watching the Leo DiCaprio drone spew out his lines. When will the general public and Oscar realize that although he just turned 30, he still looks and acts like his 12? I guess you could call it acting. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on the little boy. I haven't seen the movie, but I haven't seen "Sideways" or "Million Dollar Baby" either and the trailers look more interesting that the whole of "Aviator".

My money is on Mr. Foxx all the way!!

Good Eats

Credit: Alton Brown for the title.

Since my last blogger was a serious rant of how fat I am and how I'm trying to take it off, I'll share some of my latest good eats that I am attempting to convert into food for fatties:

First: My all time favourite dessert TIRAMISU!! done as fat free and calorie free as possible and still yummie:

Tiramisu Parfait

Preparation Time: 30 min.
Chill Time: 3 hours or overnight
Makes 8 servings

1 Sugar-Free Angel Food Cake (it's better to use lady fingers and I have yet to find a sugar free angel food cake.) You'll need about 35 lady fingers.
3 1/2 tsp. Decaffeinated Instant Coffee (much better to use 4 or 5 shots of espresso that you can either make or go to Starbucks to pick up.
1 1/2 cups Hot Water (won't need the water if you use the espresso).
1/2 cup Mascarpone Cheese
8 oz. Fat-Free Cream Cheese
2 Tbsp. Dark Brown Sugar
1 cup SPLENDA® No Calorie Sweetener, Granular
3/4 tsp. Vanilla (or you can use sweet marsala, here - it's more authentic.)
2 tsp. Cocoa Powder


1. Cut sugar-free angel food cake into one-inch cubes. Set aside.
2. Dissolve instant coffee in hot water. Chill in refrigerator.
3. Combine mascarpone cheese and cream cheese in a medium mixing bowl. Beat until smooth. Add 2 Tbsp. chilled coffee, brown sugar, SPLENDA® Granular, and vanilla. Mix well and set aside.
4. Pour remaining chilled coffee into a 9x13 inch pan.
5. Assemble Tiramisu. Quickly dip half of the angel food pieces into the coffee. Remove immediately and place in a medium glass serving bowl. Spread half of the cream cheese mixture on top of the angel food cake pieces. Sprinkle with 1 tsp. cocoa powder. Repeat process with remaining angel food cake, cheese mixture and cocoa.
6. Cover and chill for three hours or overnight before serving.

Nutrition Information per serving - Some of these numbers change if you take my suggestions above:

Serving Size 1/8th tiramisu
Total Calories 120
Calories from Fat 60
Total Fat 7 g
Saturated Fat 4 g
Cholesterol 20 mg
Sodium 170 mg
Total Carbohydrate 8 g
Dietary Fiber 0 g
Sugars 3 g
Protein 5 g

Another killer dessert that I snagged off the Food Channel - Bread Pudding w/ Bourbon Sauce that will make you cry. I didn't make the bourbon sauce 'cause we didn't have any in the house, but I ate this with the low sugar vanilla ice cream. - YUMMY

3 cups stale French bread, cut in 3/4-inch cubes
2 cups milk (use 1 c. evaporated skim milk and 1 c. reg skim milk to negate most of the fat).
2 eggs
1 cup sugar (I used 3/4 c. Splenda and 1/4 cup sugar)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract (be sure to use 1 TABLESPOON here)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
4 tablespoons butter, melted and slightly cooled
1/2 cup sultana raisins

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Place stale bread in a bowl with milk and squeeze the bread with your hand until well saturated with milk. I didn't squeeze any bread, just put it in the bowl and stirred it around a few times until the milk was sucked up (about an 1/2 hour or so).

With an electric mixer on high speed in a separate bowl, beat eggs with sugar until thick and pale. Stir in the vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, butter and raisins to the egg mixture. Add the soaked bread crumbs to the egg mixture and stir well. Let stand for 10 minutes. It is important to allow enough time for the bread to absorb the egg mixture or the bread crumbs will float to the top during baking, leaving a layer of custard on the bottom of the dish.

Transfer the mixture to a greased baking dish. Bake until firm, or until a knife inserted in the middle comes out clean, about 45 to 50 minutes. Let it slightly cool in the dish.

Bourbon Sauce:
2 egg yolks
1 stick butter, not margarine
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup bourbon whiskey, to taste

Meanwhile, near the end of the baking time, make the sauce. With an electric mixer, beat egg yolks until thick and pale. In a saucepan, melt the butter and sugar. Pour the butter and sugar mixture over the egg yolks, beating constantly with the mixer, until well thickened. Stir in bourbon by hand. Serve the pudding warm with vanilla ice cream if desired. Pass the hot bourbon sauce separately.

DELIGHTFUL!!! The sauce looks great, but the ice cream works just as well.


AND NOW - Drumroll, please... something absolutely NOT on the dieter's list and something I would never, ever mess with.... Real English Fish and Chips:

The trick to making this is #1 the rice flour and #2 you MUST have a thermometer or a some way of monitoring the temperature of the oil. Also, use a good quality veggie oil like canola or something equally light. There's a new oil on the market called ?Enola? or something that is supposed to be great for the health, but it sounds a lot like Olestra which will give you the runs for days if you eat too much of it. Stick with canola with 7 grams of saturated fat, safflower with 9 grams of sat. fat and sunflower with 11 grams of sat fat.

Vegetable oil, for deep frying
4 large russet potatoes
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt, plus more for seasoning
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, plus more for seasoning
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 (12-ounce) can soda water
1/2 cup rice flour, for dredging
2 (8-ounce) cod or haddock fillets, cut in 1/2 on an angle
Malt vinegar, for serving
Tartar Sauce, recipe follows

Heat 3-inches of the oil in a deep fryer to 325 degrees F. Alternately, heat 3-inches of oil in a deep pot.

Peel the potatoes and cut them into chips, about the size of your index finger. Put the potatoes in the oil. Fry the chips for 2 to 3 minutes; they should not be crisp or fully cooked at this point. Remove the chips with a spider strainer or slotted spoon, to a paper towel-lined platter to drain.

Crank the oil temperature up to 375 degrees F.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, salt, pepper, and egg. Pour in the soda water and whisk to a smooth batter. Spread the rice flour on a plate. Dredge the fish pieces in the rice flour and then dip them into the batter, letting the excess drip off.

Put the chips in the bottom of the fryer basket and carefully submerge in the hot oil. Carefully wave the battered fish into the bubbling oil before dropping them in on top of the chips. Fry the fish and chips for 4 to 5 minutes until crispy and brown. Remove the basket and drain the fish and chips on paper towels; season lightly with salt. Serve wrapped in a newspaper cone with malt vinegar and/or tartar sauce.

Tartar Sauce:
1 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon chopped capers
1 tablespoon chopped cornichons
2 tablespoons finely chopped flat-leaf parsley leaves
1/2 lemon, juiced
Dash hot sauce

In a small mixing bowl, combine all ingredients. Chill before serving to let the flavors marry.

Bon Apetite!!!! I'll post more yummies after I test drive them first.

Random Thoughts for Early Saturday Morning

Amazing the random thoughts that will cross the mind when you are up early on a Saturday morning and not in the least bit hung over. Incidentally, as part of this weight-loss program, I'm seriously cutting back on the last vice I have - beer (you know the calories, carbs, toxic waste - whatever - that is supposed to contribute to the poundage.) Needless to say, I've been working on that treadmill every day like a goddamn hamster on crack and I still haven't dropped any lbs. Those who fear me say, "Oh, but you're gaining muscle weight". Yeah, right. That really was my turnip truck that rounded the corner there. It might as well be my Sarah Lee truck as fat as I'm still feelin'.

Listening to VH1 - a song caught my attention. A cold, badass rapper has hooked up with a sappy country artist a produced an very interesting song:

http://www.mp3.com/nelly-featuring-tim-mcgraw/artists/382582/summary.html (click on the video for Tim McGraw if you happen to be lame enough to think Christina Aguilera and Jaheim are country artists. Not to knock Chrissy - the bee-atch can belt them out. She sounds like my siren self while I'm in the shower.)

Speaking of showers, what is it with men who think women would just looooveee to go to a strip bar? Every Friday afternoon, Roomie gets an invitation to go to this strip bar in Midtown called, "The Cheetah" - yeah, clever name - by one of these contractors he works with who basically is doin' the schmooze thing. Yesterday, I told him to go and he said, "Nah, I really don't want to unless you want to go". Then later that day, we're talking with some good ol' boys and they ask me again, "How come you don't wanna go?" Well, I guess if I wanted to see tits and ass, I'd take a shower. What kinda stupid question is that? I mean, I'm just not that into naked people - be they Chippendale dancers, Roman sculptures, or da Vinci renderings. I certainly don't want to drop 8 bucks for a beer while I sit there watching women who weigh about 60 pounds less than me - except for the additional silicon - give lap dances to my Roomie. Do I really look like a crackhead?

Speaking of crackheads, there was a mighty presence of right-wing, Neo-Republican, ultra-Christian idiots in downtown yesterday praising the new Republican State Congress and their pledge to pass the "Women's Right to Know" law. Yuppers, this is something the Moe-Rons have drummed up that would require a doctor to show a woman all these gruesome photos and whatnot before she has an abortion. Governor Purdue (our first Republican govenor in over 130 years) just finished talking about how his government would "partner" with the people, not "rule" them. In other words, he said the rest of his term would be less like Democrats and they would only deal with critical issues. That was last week. Oh yeah, and from what I heard about Georgie's speech on Wednesday, the idiot couldn't even use a thesaurus to find a synonym for "freedom" (27 times in a 21 minute speech???) I guess Georgie's "freedom" doesn't include a woman's freedom... period. And what is our common denominator here? Hmmmmm, me thinks there is a chromosome deficiency in the group. I ask you, if every man would wear a condom every time he had sex, how many abortions would women have?

Speaking of stupid men - or is that redundant - Atlanta hosted, FalconsFeverFriday yesterday. I can't stand the Falcons or most of the Falcon fans. God forbid the Falcons win the SuperBowl, we could make InnerCity Detroit look like mid-state Iowa with the gun blasts, super-decible crap-rap music and non-stop partying in the street. However, I'm pretty confident that when the blackbirds get to Philly and start playing in 2 feet of snow and temperatures hovering around 8 degrees, they're going to freeze their little new-nads off and get their asses collectively whooped. Even the big-bad Vick will be coming home, nursing his wounds - or maybe his hypothermia - will be set down.

Ah, enough ranting for one morning. Time to get up, do laundry, attack the treadmill and head for Augusta. Good friends are planning a surprise party for Jules and it promises to be an absolute blast!!

A Reason NOT to Party?

OK, anyone who knows me will think this latest blog is something only an acid blot and vodka screamer would produce, but I assure you that I am most utterly sober and most utterly saddened when I ask this question... Why the hell is anybody having a fucking PARTY to celebrate George W. Bush? Can anyone tell me what he has done in the past four years that is worth celebrating? The only folks on this planet who should be celebrating are the Iraqi insurgents who have now taken almost complete control over a country that was never our primary enemy in the first place (don't you dare hand me some horseshit about the first Gulf War and the "enemies" Saddam made.)

See, I'm not the only one with the same idea:




Bush should be beheaded, drawn and quartered, then devoured by Kenyan hyenas (only because we wouldn't want to torture the little buggers by having them cut their own meat.) Or perhaps we could offer the creatures the "Brain of Bush", Karl Rove, which would be a much more satisfying main course than the kibble bits of Georgie Bush. Alas, 49% of Americans are partying their asses off today - and for the next four years - because, like certain other animals, they have decided the best thing for them to do is stick their empty heads in a pile of shit-laden sand and... well, you know, see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, think absolutely nothing for yourself.

Speaking of Georgie- FUs - did Barbara Boxer eat Condi's lunch the other day or what? Stephen Colbert, esteemed correspondent at the beloved Daily Show, had this tidbit of news info for us: http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/thedailyshowwithjonstewart/

Be sure to check the "watch" tab on the left side of the screen under "Colbert".

I cannot believe Georgie has nominated someone as war-minded as Condi for such a touchy-feely position as Secretary of State. Ohhhhh, but wait, the Bush Administration says that if accepted, Condi will travel more that Powell did during his term. OK, so how much will that cost? I've already heard that the bullshit inaugural will cost more than ever in history and that DC will pick up the bill, but now is when Condi wants to go sightseein'?

Here's another reason to throw down with the booze, drugs, liquid glue or whatever other goodies you have on hand. Did you know that 29,000 children die everyday in Africa from disease, hunger, malnutrition, or… what have you. Big fuckin' deal right? Well, this shit has been going on for years and what have we done (as big bad Americans who can afford a Presidential Throwdown like today??) As far as I can tell, not a goddman thing since 1985 - that's right NINETEEN EIGHTY fucking FIVE. But, ol' Mamma Nature steps into South Asia and all of a sudden the world unites in this grand ol' warm-hearted, oh-so-conveniently-tax-deductible contribution and the Asians are the Poop-of- the-World. I guess that means if you were one of the ones sitting on a sunny beach in Sumatra drinking MaiTais and eggnog from a crystal glass when suddenly a tsunami washes you to your death, you are much, much more privileged than some impoverished, orphaned child born with AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa who will die an anguished, excruciating death. Kiss my ass and call me fuzzy. God gave the animals the sense that humans learned to dismiss long ago - RUN.



Speaking of 1985, isn't it ironic that Bob Geldoff put together "Live Aid" about this time almost 20 years ago? Where's our "Live Aid" now if the urgency is so real?

Speaking of death, what are the real numbers on ALL the dead people because of America's invasion of the sovereign nation of Iraq?

What are the real numbers of the dead in Sudan?

Why is the American reputation swimming in the bottom of a south Georgia swamp?

When is a war-monger’s presidential inauguration going to be seen for what it is … an utter, complete antithesis of what is good, civil, honest, and caring.

When will we all be hopeful again?

Today marks the start of another uncertain, terrifying, unpredictably horrible four years. How bad will it get?

So, here's how to find me????

I can't remember my pass word to my blog therapy so I type some crap into Google and this is MY first hit?????

"The body is a biblical scene with Jesus, staff in hand, laying a blessing hand on the bridge of the guitar. The real jewel encrusted pick guard (Jade, sapphire & star sapphire) displays a laughing face of Christ. One sapphire is set in Christ's eye."

Hack, gag, puck, piss, poop.

Truly Awe Inspiring Satillite Photo

While taking a cue from IbeJO, I found a true "HOLY SHIT" moment captured in time...

Look at the top of the photo and you will see the wave that is about to come ashore onto Banda Aceh (bottom of photo).

Photo from: http://www.crisp.nus.edu.sg/tsunami/tsunami.html

News of Late

Generally this type of blog is simply for family and friends who don't read my emails. It's a kind of bait and switch to anyone out there that just reads my stuff for the hyper-intellengent, nearly holy-enlightened information I process with supersonic speed and accuracy. Here is NOT one of those blogs.

Looks like I will probably lose my job in June. This, not because of the quality of my work, but because Georgia Tech cannot manage their money (and our brillant governor has taken $58 million out of the education budget). So, trim the fat, screw the quality. And I wasn't even that fat.

Fortunately/unfortunately, I will get the money I have invested in my retirement and the money that Tech has contributed. That's a good chunk of change considering we are required to contribute 6% of our salary (before taxes) each year to our retirement and when you get 10 years here, GT matches that with 18% for every year. SJ said not to take it because I will take a tax hit, but if I can't get another job between now and then, I might have to anyway.

On another note, we got our computer set up about 85%. It's awesome! Broadband rules as does the mega billion ram that a friend set up for us. Also, because I am a Tech employee - at least for now - I can download any and all software I want as long as I use it for "work" purposes. I'm going to advertise to the moron-students at Tech that I will write/edit their papers for the bargain price of $1.00/page. Maybe I can make a couple of bucks. First, I will start using some of my new software by designing my flyers against Air France and passing them out at Hartsfield. I have to write them another letter because they have insulted my intelligence and resolve (they even went so far as mispelling my last name - hissssssss - that indicates they don't even give enough of a shit to check.) How stupid. If Air France doesn't want to play nicey with me after this next letter, it's off to Florida to small claims court we go where I will not only request reimbursement for our tickets, but a reasonable sum for pain and suffering. Since the tickets and all were around $1,500 and the max you can sue under Florida law is $5,000 - hmmmmm, looks like my pain was worth about $3,500! I also like the fact that the burden of proof is on them since they are the ones that record their phone conversations and none of the documentation they sent me after-the-fact said it was non-transferable.

On another nice note, the house three doors down from us is a 3-BDRM/2-BATH and is selling for $189,900 (no basement). If it sells at that price, it could be very, very good news for us. Once we can figure out how to use that damn camera, I'll post photos of the stucco work.

And lastly, I absolutely love the treadmill that I bought myself for Christmas. I feel (and probably look) like a fat-ass gerbil on it, but with all that has happened of late, do you think I really give a damn?

Ah, Back to Web Therapy

First and foremost, happy new year to everyone. Yeah, I know it's already the 5th, but since this is my first blog in a couple of weeks and I'm feeling optimistic about this new year (yeah, I know it's only the 5th), I figured I'd say it again.

That being said, we must take a moment to look at the ominous signs occuring around the world.

1) Not much to say about the South Asian tsunami that hasn't already been said in the media. Every few hours each day after the wave hit, the news kept reporting the number of dead: 15,000, 50,000, 79,000, 110,000, 155,000. I had to look hard this morning to find the latest numbers, but all I could really find were the number of body bags requested by certain cities. I guess the media understands the concept of saturation after all. I mean, considering the week after the holidays is when the largest number of people want to jump off bridges anyway, hearing about hundreds of thousands of dead, injured, and suffering might not be the ticket. My philosophy is a little twisted, though. When I hear about such a grandiose, totalitarian disaster as this, I feel somewhat thankful.

Speaking of thankful, CNN reported that a Malaysian cargo ship picked up a tsunami survivor at sea: http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/01/04/tsunami.adrift.ap/index.html

Now, had this been me - adrift in the shark-laden waters of the Indian Ocean, clinging to some tree branches for over a week... hmmmmm, me thinks we would need a cargo ship full of valium for the rest of my natural life. To make matters worse, the Malaysian cargo ship was taking the poor soul back to Malaysia. Again, if it were me out there, I'd be screaming down the captain's neck and telling him to take my ass to Inner Mongolia.

Something else that caught my attention yesterday about this disaster was something Neil Boortz said on the morning teaser for his show - Hell no, I don't listen to the idiot's show, but this made me go, "Hmmmmmm." Then I heard it again on NBC News last night and it made some sense. Boortz said that "The world is gearing up to use the tsunami disaster as yet another platform (sic) excuse from which to attack economic freedom, capitalism and, of course, the United States" (as though anyone needed an excuse). NBC News clarified by staying that some Arab new networks were advertizing that the earthquake was actually caused by the US testing nuclear devices in the South Pacific. The Arab media was also saying that they performed these tests during the infidel's holiday of Christmas - incidentally - don't read the Koran or listen to what Mohammed had to say, in this regard, "infidel" is anyone who believes in any sort of iota of independence and freedom. Yicks!!! Granted, those folks out there who have 2 or more brain cells know this to be horseshit, but the fundamentalists, just gaga-gooing for another reason to hate the US, are going to eat this up. What's really sad on this note? Countries like Saudia Arabia, Kuwait, and Qatar have only pledge measly amounts of money (like the initial sums given by the US) because they fear their money will fall into the hands of the infidels. Double yicks.

2) Onto another really, really apocalyptic sign???? How do locust swarms in Africa sit with you before breakfast? Check this out on National Geographic: http://www.nationalgeographic.com/channel/explorer/webpost.html The show airs Sunday at 8PM EST. This is going to really be something to give me the heebies. A friend showed me a picture of the locusts flying around the Pyramids in Egypt, but watch the video preview on the link above if you really want to get the creepies.

Well, that's enough negative stuff for such a pre-admitted positive blog. Now for some goodies to leave you feelin' happy

1) Roomie and I have decided to enter the 21st century. We have shunned the antiquated Windows 98 for XP, added billions meg to the harddrive as well as MS Office and -drumroll please - the 56K modem will be history sometime this afternoon as the Cable Guy will come by to install Broadband. Holy smokies, Batman.

2) Funny comment made by unnamed comedian on Comedy Central yesterday. He said he was traveling to Jamaica recently and was stopped by a customs agent. She asked him if he were carrying any drugs into Jamaica. He says, "Carrying drugs into Jamaica? No, wouldn't that be like carrying Slim Fast into Ethiopia." OK, cruel, but still funny.

3) Speaking of Comedy Central: Check out http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/thedailyshowwithjonstewart/

Where Lewis Black who has a newbie on the show and Billy Connelly is a guest. Billy was supposed to be on discussing his part in the Lemony Snicket's film, but instead, he and John had a roving laugh over rabbit sex and pissing yourself.