Random Thoughts for Early Saturday Morning

Amazing the random thoughts that will cross the mind when you are up early on a Saturday morning and not in the least bit hung over. Incidentally, as part of this weight-loss program, I'm seriously cutting back on the last vice I have - beer (you know the calories, carbs, toxic waste - whatever - that is supposed to contribute to the poundage.) Needless to say, I've been working on that treadmill every day like a goddamn hamster on crack and I still haven't dropped any lbs. Those who fear me say, "Oh, but you're gaining muscle weight". Yeah, right. That really was my turnip truck that rounded the corner there. It might as well be my Sarah Lee truck as fat as I'm still feelin'.

Listening to VH1 - a song caught my attention. A cold, badass rapper has hooked up with a sappy country artist a produced an very interesting song:

http://www.mp3.com/nelly-featuring-tim-mcgraw/artists/382582/summary.html (click on the video for Tim McGraw if you happen to be lame enough to think Christina Aguilera and Jaheim are country artists. Not to knock Chrissy - the bee-atch can belt them out. She sounds like my siren self while I'm in the shower.)

Speaking of showers, what is it with men who think women would just looooveee to go to a strip bar? Every Friday afternoon, Roomie gets an invitation to go to this strip bar in Midtown called, "The Cheetah" - yeah, clever name - by one of these contractors he works with who basically is doin' the schmooze thing. Yesterday, I told him to go and he said, "Nah, I really don't want to unless you want to go". Then later that day, we're talking with some good ol' boys and they ask me again, "How come you don't wanna go?" Well, I guess if I wanted to see tits and ass, I'd take a shower. What kinda stupid question is that? I mean, I'm just not that into naked people - be they Chippendale dancers, Roman sculptures, or da Vinci renderings. I certainly don't want to drop 8 bucks for a beer while I sit there watching women who weigh about 60 pounds less than me - except for the additional silicon - give lap dances to my Roomie. Do I really look like a crackhead?

Speaking of crackheads, there was a mighty presence of right-wing, Neo-Republican, ultra-Christian idiots in downtown yesterday praising the new Republican State Congress and their pledge to pass the "Women's Right to Know" law. Yuppers, this is something the Moe-Rons have drummed up that would require a doctor to show a woman all these gruesome photos and whatnot before she has an abortion. Governor Purdue (our first Republican govenor in over 130 years) just finished talking about how his government would "partner" with the people, not "rule" them. In other words, he said the rest of his term would be less like Democrats and they would only deal with critical issues. That was last week. Oh yeah, and from what I heard about Georgie's speech on Wednesday, the idiot couldn't even use a thesaurus to find a synonym for "freedom" (27 times in a 21 minute speech???) I guess Georgie's "freedom" doesn't include a woman's freedom... period. And what is our common denominator here? Hmmmmm, me thinks there is a chromosome deficiency in the group. I ask you, if every man would wear a condom every time he had sex, how many abortions would women have?

Speaking of stupid men - or is that redundant - Atlanta hosted, FalconsFeverFriday yesterday. I can't stand the Falcons or most of the Falcon fans. God forbid the Falcons win the SuperBowl, we could make InnerCity Detroit look like mid-state Iowa with the gun blasts, super-decible crap-rap music and non-stop partying in the street. However, I'm pretty confident that when the blackbirds get to Philly and start playing in 2 feet of snow and temperatures hovering around 8 degrees, they're going to freeze their little new-nads off and get their asses collectively whooped. Even the big-bad Vick will be coming home, nursing his wounds - or maybe his hypothermia - will be set down.

Ah, enough ranting for one morning. Time to get up, do laundry, attack the treadmill and head for Augusta. Good friends are planning a surprise party for Jules and it promises to be an absolute blast!!