Monday, April 24, 2006

My Boy, Again...

Here's to Mikey...



Some of the relevent comments made in Sunday's paper:

Errors and arrogance

Rumsfeld claims that commanders were given all the troops they wanted. That's a lie. His micromanagement of troop deployments did grave damage. Furthermore, the office of the secretary of defense made it clear that commanders were not to ask for more troops.

The fact that post-Saddam Iraq failed to turn into a democratic Atlantis overnight caught Rumsfeld by surprise, and he never recovered. His failure to act decisively allowed the insurgency to take root.

Rumsfeld has been notoriously arrogant with military leaders --- who, by law, cannot respond to his insults. He has lost the confidence of our military leaders beyond the circle of sycophants with which he has surrounded himself.

But there are other reasons the SecDef must be dismissed. With Orwellian disregard for the truth, Rumsfeld has claimed credit for "transformation" at the Pentagon, for pioneering innovative approaches to future warfare. Yet, far from building a more effective fighting force, he has disregarded every lesson of our recent wars in favor of continuing massive and wasteful purchases of weapons systems conceived in the 1980s to fight the Soviet Union. What he labels transformation is a shameless defense of the acquisition status quo and the last decade's bankrupt schemes for waging bloodless techno-wars.

In addition to the widespread disgust among senior officers with the way the secretary botched the fight for Iraq, another trigger for the current round of criticism has been the latest Quadrennial Defense Review, the document that instructs our military on which weapons to buy and how to organize. Trumpeted as revolutionary---with phenomenal cynicism---the QDR failed to kill a single Cold War-legacy weapons system.

At a time when our troops have pressing needs, from sufficient numbers in uniform to replacement vehicles for those destroyed or worn out in Iraq, Rumsfeld's latest QDR proposes squandering hundreds of billions of dollars on useless, overpriced, outdated and counterproductive weapons, such as the Air Force's F-22 stealth fighter (the utility and reliability of which have been questioned) or the Navy's DDX destroyers (intended to fight a Soviet Navy that no longer exists).

Money used for junk

Every one of our services has serious needs, and Rumsfeld's "transformation" addresses virtually none of them. He would cut troop levels to buy worthless junk --- systems that would deform our military for decades to come and result in decreased readiness. The SecDef is supporting our defense industry, not our defense: We are getting the military Lockheed Martin wants to sell us, not the military we need.

If these problems are so serious, why has it taken so long for the generals to speak out? I've personally heard dozens of generals complain about Rumsfeld's incompetence and vindictiveness for years --- and have yet to hear one say a private word in his praise. Why didn't they go public? There are several reasons, some practical, others institutional.

Loyalty is deeply inculcated into our military, as is obedience to civilian control (something I have never heard questioned). Furthermore, no senior leader wants to abandon his troops in wartime --- he generally reasons that he can do more good by sticking to his post. And, of course, even the most well-intentioned internal criticism is a career-ender under a regime as intolerant as Rumsfeld's.

Nonetheless, it's been disappointing that so few retired generals have spoken out until now --- retirees do not face the same legal or ethical restrictions as those still in uniform. A few men of integrity, such as Gens. Anthony Zinni and Barry McCaffrey, did take principled stands on Rumsfeld's worst policy blunders, but most retirees simply kept quiet.

Scary News

This is really creepy... first I read this article in today's AJC:

Police Hunt for Chimps After Fatal Attack
By CLARENCE ROY-MACAULAY
Associated Press Writer

FREETOWN, Sierra Leone — Police hunted Monday for chimpanzees that escaped from a Sierra Leone preserve and mauled a group of American and local sightseers, killing one man and injuring four people.

The U.S. Embassy warned Americans against traveling to the Tacugama Chimpanzee Sanctuary, where the chimps escaped before Sunday's attack on a taxicab.

The Sierra Leonean driver died as the chimps ripped his body apart, and three Americans were treated at a hospital for minor injuries, said Oliver Somasa, a top police official.

Another Sierra Leonean man in the group had his hand amputated after the mauling, Somasa said. U.S. officials had no further comment. The Americans were in Sierra Leone to help build a new embassy building, Somasa said.

Armed police were searching Monday for 27 chimpanzees, Somasa said, while four others had already returned on their own accord to the reserve.

Somosa said it was unclear why the chimps attacked or how they were able to escape.

Chimpanzee attacks are unusual but not unprecedented.

Two chimps that escaped from their cages in a California sanctuary severely mauled a man in March 2005 before the man's son-in-law shot the animals to death.



Damn, that's fucked up.

But, then I see this article (picture included) in the column right next to it --- coincidence? You be the judge...





Capitol abuzz as elections qualifying begins
McKinney comes out swinging against Bush administration

By NANCY BADERTSCHER and JIM THARPE
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 04/24/06

While the rest of state government was closed for Confederate Memorial Day, the Capitol was buzzing today as controversial U.S. Rep. Cynthia McKinney, Gov. Sonny Perdue and dozens of other candidates qualified to run in this year's federal elections.

McKinney, a Democrat, came out swinging against the Bush Administration, reiterating her criticisms of the President on the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks and Iraq War.

"Now we're talking about a nuclear strike on [Iran]," she told reporters. "This is something the American people can't even imagine. In the midst of one failed war, we're talking about starting another war."

Her father, former state Rep. Billy McKinney, said the campaign is about to "whup some Republicans."

DeKalb County Commissioner Hank Johnson, who hopes to beat McKinney in the Democratic primary, showed up at qualifying with a half dozen or so supporters who were sporting T-shirts that read: "solutions, not politics."

Johnson said he'll shy away from joining critics of McKinney's recent scrape with Capitol security and focus on what he sees as her failure to bring needed federal funds to the district for transportation and other priorities.

Qualifying runs through noon Friday, but most candidates generally try to be a part of the frenzied first day.

Some were standing in line when qualifying started at 9 a.m. in the House chamber for Democrats and in the Senate for Republicans.

Gov. Sonny Perdue filed for re-election this afternoon and then promised about 200 supporters that they'd see a replay of his 2002 victory.

Now, this my friend really is fucked up. What's up with that crazy look in her eyes? I think Marty Feldman was somewhere in the McKinney woodpile.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Compliments of Baby Bro




Now I don't know who will go to hell first; Bro for sending this to me, me for posting it to my blog, or - and this is my first guess - IbeJO who's comment, "'Tards make fun toys" had me on the floor for twenty minutes.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

They Call Him a Pinko,

but I love him.

My boy, Mike Luckovich, won a Pulitzer Prize for his cartoons on Katrina and the war in Iraq. Go, boy! Here's just one of my favs...

Monday, April 17, 2006

And I Thought I was Having a Bad Day...



This is the Downtown Connector, smack dab in downtown Atlanta (hence the name), which shepards hundreds of thousands of cars and people through the City every day. Today, right before lunch, some cat (that would be him in the red shirt between the two signs) decided to off himself by jumping off this bridge (the 10th Street overpass), which is right outside my office. As a matter of fact, I had a better angle of this little incident than any news chopper or road camera.

Now, at the risk of sounding selfish, I have to ask... why did we have to put up with this shit for one solid hour? I mean, the poor thing "was just released from prison and apparently depressed" (no shit, if I was just freed after getting a daily salad toss, I'd be a little bummed myself - no pun intended). But my point is this, see that big yellow pillow on the road under this guy? I say shoot the mother fucker and be done with it. Okay, maybe you don't have to kill him (even though that's apparently exactly what he wants), but nail him in the kneecap, let him fall on the pillow, pick him up and let the traffic flow.

Sadly, this isn't the first time this shit has happened. The City even spent thousands and thousands of dollars putting these chain link fences on the overpasses, but all that does is allow the jumpers an extra five feet or so of elevation. Actually, some of the pictures of this incident show the guy climbing back over the fence after the cops talked him down". Man, what a waste... makes me want to jump off - nah, it's never that bad.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Just in Time for the Holidays...





Thanks Yorkshire Soul!

Not Your Average Bear




So, I'm watching the "Today" show this morning and the anchor is interviewing a Tennessee Park Ranger - I don't think I need to give any visuals, here. This is how the conversation starts...

Anchor: "Officials are questioning campers in the Cherokee National Forest Campground today trying to get a description of the black bear that killed a six-year old girl on Friday."

OK S-T-O-P right there... I'll give you a description: First, he's a fucking bear. Second, he's black. 'Nuf said.

Anchor: "Rangers want to be sure they don't kill the wrong bear."

Hold it... what does your average bear hunter kill? Convict bears?

Park Ranger, Cletus Rebone: "Yeah, well, er... wher still tryin' to figure out why that bear kilt that little girl. We figured it might be sick, ya know with a virus in his brain or whatnot. Other den dat, we just ain't got a clue as to why this big, hungry bear thats been asleep' for the past five months coulda wanted to kill her.


Hmmmmmm - I know this is a stretch, but let me give it a shot...


Ummmmm, how about... he's A FUCKING B-E-A-R!


Kid musta looked like a chicken McNugget. No wonder the Honey buns weren't looking too good to him.


Not even 11 AM and I've already maxed out on my stupid quota. Time to go destroy the front door.

Friday, April 14, 2006

The Sum of It's Parts

I am a pretzel. I know this because I got kneaded today. Not to say, I was "needed", but I got my ass, literally, kneaded (aka, lightly risen pizza dough just waiting to get slammed down) only to rise like a phoenix (I hope) in the morning.

Ever since Christmas, I've had this goddman mid-trapezius muscle that has been pulled and has all but crippled me. Been to Kaiser, only to get the useless Flexeril (I guess they aren't useless if you're still into that kinda buzz), but regardless - no use.

So, I fork out the cash and go to a massage therapist in January. He works me over and says - and I quote, "There's not a goddamn thing I can do for you until you see a chiropractor". Whaaaaa??? Me + quack-o-practor = not in this fucking lifetime.

So the muscle really starts being a pain in the ass (well, six vertebre up from my ass, but...) and considering I dropped a C-note on "the kid" for the massage and he used to work in a quake-o-clinic, I figured, what the hey?? After all,dealing with the Kaiser folks, I wonder if there is some reason I get ugly images when I hear the name, Kaiser? Heil...

sorry.

Anyway, Kaiser gives me 20 visits to one of their "approved" quacks. Of course, I have to pick the one in hoity-toity land aka Sandy Springs and I reluctantly go see him. I mean, after all, I'm about to pull a coyote on my own fucking arm, right?

This operation turns out to be a husband and wife team, in a very nice office, who are some of the MOST pleasant people I have ever met - seriously. On the first day there, I was waiting in the torture - hmmm, I mean therapy, room and I was looking at all the anatomical graphics they had on the wall. I could pinpoint exactly what was bothering me (not like I didn't learn this in 2nd year Auburn biology, but time does tend to clean house). Anyway, the "doc" comes in and we start talking and I tell him what is what and where what is doing what and whatnot and the next thing I know he's moving my fucking spine around and... well, it was AWESOME! Freaky, but awesome. It really is amazing how much the spinal column can fuck with the rest of your body - duh, kinda like the engine car fucking with the cabboose, huh?

Anyway, he also showed me some killer back exercises to do with my weights, which I have been working on and I'm actually ready to increase my weight. But, the idea is to get the spine straight while the muscles learn how to hold it there. My posture has been so bad since fourth grade. Now, just picture this: 4th grad class photo; you are 5 foot 8 inches tall, crater-face acne, brilliant wrap-around braces, and in the most malevelent grade ever devised by humans, period... oh, and I'm a FUCKING G-I-R-L. Every "boy" in the fourth grade now rises right about my non-existant chestline so I ask, "Would you not try to shrink to microscopic size?".

Now that you get the picture, the bottom line was that after years of slouching, the old bod said, "fuck it,. this is how it will be". Tell your kids that bullshit your parents crammed down your throat about "stand up straight" really means something. I have the insurance claims to prove it.

OK, so I see the "quack" today, whom I seriously admire with all my gusto, and he tells me (like he needs to tell me) that my trap is "free". So off to the "kid" to make sure there aren't any other muscle groups that will kick my ass later down the road. I show up and Kid is ready - 90 full intense deep tissue massage. Fuck, this kid musta been the WonderBread guy in another life. Needless to say, one lesson you must understand 'bout DEEP tissue massage - it really isn't about that pus "relaxation" thing. When it is done correctly, it is W-O-R-K and there are times when it really is good and there are times when it really, really makes you understand what muscles are where and what they do.

Another thing, once you get kneaded like I did today, know enough NOT to do anything physical for at least 24 hours. Oh, and drink so much fucking water that you piss clear for at least 2 days. Anything short of that will send you to the ER for toxic poisoning. Trust me on this one. Deep tissue massage pushes toxins and crap throughout your bod and if you can't flush it immediately, it doesn't make much since to drop a C note on the massage. Also, it will make you physically sick to boot.

Well, enough of this. I had planned on ripping off the front of my house tonight, but as I said, that really is not a good idea after today. Besides, I need "before" pictures and someone's little bro won't let me know how to do that. After all, I'm not a techno-wiz, just a pretzel.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

... But OH, the Evening Can Suck Even Worse

The goddam dentist broke my $500 veneers before they were even glued to my teeth. Now no cold or hot (or even the shower) water can hit my front teeth or I soar to the skyline. This will definately be the way I lose that last 10 pounds!

I guess that fucking tree is looking tall enough now.

Just When You Think Your Morning Could Go No Worse...

...open your email to find this little ditty



"A Man in Need

Try to imagine yourself in this man's shoes, being verbally
assaulted with hatred and venom on a daily basis at his job.
Try to imagine if you did the very best you knew how to do, and
STILL, you were despised and hated without reason. How would
you feel? How would you be able to function on a daily basis
at your job? How would you feel every time you went out in
public, knowing that people despised you and there was nothing
you could do to change their minds?
This is awesome - please view!"

http://www.udata.com/users/byrd/pray.htm


Goddam, who could eat breakfast after seeing this shit? I honestly thought this was something about some poor slop homeless guy who was getting kicked in the gut and pee'd on in an alley somewhere. I actually felt a moment of sorry for this schlep... Now, I really want to find a tall tree.

However, if you really want to put how painful your life is into some perspective, turn your lower body over to a rather bitter Venezuelan woman and have her give you a full leg and bikini wax in about 20 minutes and then have to T-I-P her for the privelege. Tattoos don't hurt that bad but, again, it puts your shitty life in perspective.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006