So, I'm watching the "Today" show this morning and the anchor is interviewing a Tennessee Park Ranger - I don't think I need to give any visuals, here. This is how the conversation starts...
Anchor: "Officials are questioning campers in the Cherokee National Forest Campground today trying to get a description of the black bear that killed a six-year old girl on Friday."
OK S-T-O-P right there... I'll give you a description: First, he's a fucking bear. Second, he's black. 'Nuf said.
Anchor: "Rangers want to be sure they don't kill the wrong bear."
Hold it... what does your average bear hunter kill? Convict bears?
Park Ranger, Cletus Rebone: "Yeah, well, er... wher still tryin' to figure out why that bear kilt that little girl. We figured it might be sick, ya know with a virus in his brain or whatnot. Other den dat, we just ain't got a clue as to why this big, hungry bear thats been asleep' for the past five months coulda wanted to kill her.
Hmmmmmm - I know this is a stretch, but let me give it a shot...
Ummmmm, how about... he's A FUCKING B-E-A-R!
Kid musta looked like a chicken McNugget. No wonder the Honey buns weren't looking too good to him.
Not even 11 AM and I've already maxed out on my stupid quota. Time to go destroy the front door.
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