It's Gone

yeah, that would be my noodle.

It's 4 AM. I woke up to the worst charlie cramp on the planet. I didn't think my old ass would have to worry about this type of issue, but I was completely mistaken. Also, when you shoot out of bed, jumping around like Bozo the Clown at 3:45, somehow cats interpret that as "breakfast time". Don't ask me the correlation, I'm not Stephen Hawkins.

Well, I finally reduced myself to the "whooos-me, pity" level when it comes to renting the house. I cannot tell you the pathetic story I put on the web about renting the house, but it seems to have worked - knock on wood. At this point, I'm ready to shoot myself in the foot --- oh, I forgot, I already did that when I chose to take on this little endevour. Oh well, when both feet are in the water, you better know how to tread.

What's that joke - oh... a SCUBA diver is swimming around the ocean at 20 meters and sees another diver in the water with no SCUBA gear. Amazed, the SCUBA guy dives another 10 meters only to see the second diver next to him. Another 10 meters down, the SCUBA writes on a note pad, "How the hell are you down here so deep without gear".

The second diver writes back, "I'm drowning, you asshole".

HMMMMMMM, why does this sound so apropros?

I have to go to Augusta tomorrow morning. I cannot tell you how not-excited I am about this. That being said, Daddy is very happy about the improvements to his house and that should be enough to keep me floating for another year. In reality, it's not about the money, it was about accomplishing a goal that I may have set too high. But, tarot says today:

"The Earth moves between impetuous Mars and taskmaster Saturn as the tension builds between wanting to speed up and needing to slow down. Recently, we have driven ourselves harder and faster, only to bump into walls. When we tried to retreat, however, circumstances pulled us back into the game. Today, we reach a critical mass and either push through or fall back. And with the Moon in stubborn Taurus, we may unsuccessfully attempt to just hold still."

Not to sound too pagen, but I really did feel an energy pull during the Spring Equinox the other evening. Now I just have to deal with green... everything trees, plants, pollen, everything, so I should be bitching about that soon enough.

The good news? The prozac AmberGrace is on is a bitch to give her because she's not quite as stupid as I thought. She knows I spike her breakfast with it and she refuses to eat it. That means, well, you get the straight shot and considering I have a larger brain, walk upright on two legs and I'm at the top of the food chain, I will win. No contest, no question. The valium is not working with the other cats, so I guess I'll take it --- just kidding. I'm depressed enough with out the use of pharmaceuticals.

Oh, and it appears as though I did not kill Emmett after all. That dog/cat food recall did not include any of the food I feed my animals. God just really wanted him even more than I did, but it still stings to think about my Little Man- maybe that's the point?

Oh, and I attempted to make a friend some brownies, but they landed in the bottom of my oven. What the hell is the matter with me? For fuck sake - I know how to bake godam brownies. Yesterday was not my day, but my fish, Bubba, still loves me.

God, please help me make today a better bet.