Be Very Fucking Afraid...

....on every level....

I love you both and am so very proud to have your DNA!!!

And the Hits Just Keep Coming

I swear to God... I don't ever think I will get a fucking break.

It's my favourite time of day - 2 AM. This time, the farm equipment is relatively quiet and the muscle cramps have subsided.

So why are ya up so early, Pumpkin?

'Cause the cat puked on me.

Let me rephrase that, the FUCKING cat PUKED ON me!

I shit you not.

She didn't just upchuck next to the bed, but on my arm, pillow, sheets, everything.

I wake up to this gag reflex sound and before the instinct can hit my groggy head, I'm being doused with gastro-juice, grass, and what appears to be semi-eaten kibble.

What the fuck did I do in a past life to deserve this? It must have been something really, really good. Perhaps it's just make-up for my early years. If that's the case, then that answers my question.

I'm setting up shop on the couch since I can't sleep with farm equipment.

Un-fucking-believable.

Thank God for Holidays

... and other random thoughts.



It's 2:14 in the fucking A - M.

A-G-A-I-N.

But, unless I grab up a tent and hit the great outdoors, my ass will be up for two hours, minimum. The farm equipment started on schedule this morning (odd to call it morning when it is pitch black outside and the local news still isn't on), but morning it is. And, I've been to Iceland during the winter, on several occasions, so I know what it feels like to - literally - never see the sun.

However, today is a holiday for we weenie Americanos. This would be Memorial Day. It was intended to honour those souls that have died during the wars we fought for our freedom and for the freedom of others. And let's get this clear, Iraq is not one of those wars. Iraq was simply a gold-mine of big dollars for a very elite few that has put us in the crosshairs of just about everyone in the world, except maybe the Jews.

Nice. Thanks. Not like we needed any help.

I watched Ron Paul on Bill Maher/Real Time last night. Finally, a "Republican", who is barking (somewhat loudly I may add), against the war. This better not be a voting trick! If he becomes the Republican candidate, I may vote for him because compared to the bickering Democrats and the fact that the front runners are a woman and a black man (of whom idiots are accusing of being an "evil" Muslim), I think Paul would have a stronger shot. I have nothing against women or blacks, it's just that I'm not so naive as to think Americans are ready for either in the White House and the two will divide the country to our detriment. I mean, a country that still has anti-abortion groups and the KKK, cannot handle either in the White House. I do think that Edwards has a chance for the Democratic nod, but until Gore steps in and takes the vote on a landslide, we're fucked more ways than a Dutch hooker.

Maher had some great comments about the Democrats. He brought up the pussy-last-minute-sorry-to-be-so-politically-incorrect comments made by Carter. First, Carter - carte blanc - came out and said, "Bush is the worst president in history", then (once the neo-cons started crying and whining) he backed down like a Mike Vick dog in the ring. Yeah, Jimmy, it's OK to have a backbone, especially when you've been there, done that, AND you've got one foot on a banana peel and one foot on the grave. Trust me, there ain't a whole lotta damage control you should have to worry about.

Speaking of damage control, the really tall one in this picture



... is the (ex) son-in-law of the Mayor that I have supported for so long. Or should I say, "support-ed". He was just busted as one very messy coke smuggler and now they are investigating the daughter of the Mayor for money laundering. Now, if your husband has a legitimate business and brings home $35 million in a week - lucky you. If that happens to be drug money and you say you don't know about it, you are simply a liar. I know. I used to live with serious coke dealers that I wasn't even married to, and I certainly knew what they were doing and how we got the money we had.


And while we're on the subject of Michael Vick. He's a punk and should be tied up, stripped of his skivvies, and put in the ring with one of those pit bills. And guess what, folks, this isn't a black/white thing. If he gets busted and dogs were used to kill each other for idiots to have some "yeee-haw-time", I say fuck him up, regardless of he was white, orange, purple or all of the above. Yeah, I'm in a good mood already and it's a fucking holiday.

What does one do on a holiday? HMMMMM, me thinks, at least I don't have to go to that boring ass job, but I probably will anyway only so I have time to run to the vampire and take the farm equipment in for an overhaul.

No rain. Never. I'm really not a pessimist, but they really are saying no rain. As some would say, "Great, at least I don't have to cut the grass", well, no water means, "no life". Girlfriend and I had a long, funny debate about this last night considering she lives in the actual desert and we're becoming one. But, THERE IS NO GLOBAL WARMING, CHILDREN. Ha. I think that was a polar bear going after the cat food this morning.

But, on the brighter side, David Matthews is going to play Piedmont Park on Sept. 8th. Normally, when he comes to Atlanta, he plays venues that only allow a certain few and to get these tickets you need a Louisville Slugger, a bad attitude, and the patience of Job to get in line about 5 weeks early. I've never been able to do that. However, I don't see how they are going to limit the number of people to a public park. That being said, it should be a cool show. Hell, I'd watch it - even if those ComCast pirates asked for pay-for-view. Can you imagine the nightmare those folks in Midtown will have it if they are NOT Matthews fans? At least it will be on a Saturday.

Enough for now. I have to check on Bubba. He looked a bit more spry yesterday, but this morning, he's looking a bit cheeky. Maybe it's just too early for him to get up, also.

Who Knows the Stars

From today's tarot...

"A subtle shift of energy at work is already underway, but you may not feel the full ramifications of your current actions for a while. It may appear as if everything is moving right along, but now undercurrents can be set into motion by suppressed feelings. If you have something to say, you better get it out into the open before the ripples of frustration build into larger waves."

"Subtle?". I think not.

Muscle cramps have paralyzed my ass since 3 AM. I cannot tell you what it feels like to have your left butt muscle completely in spasm. Doc says to take more anxiety pills. I guess that was about the time I told him I wanted to eat his nutsake, spit it out, and then have one of the cats eat it.

My, my, he may be on to something. He said, "NO matter what, do not stop with the other medication!!" that my psycho-ass-doctor prescribed and assured me was good for me. This can only be only described as evil and not very nice, to say the least.

Well, since the Doc knows best, here we go with a Valium - which I consider the worst drug ever on the planet. You may not hear from me for a while.

By the way, life really is good and I'm glad to be here. As long as I have air to breathe, I would never consider any other option.

Thanks again, everyone, for a great birthday.

Reflections on Birthdays

1st - if you're born early (that's still a debatable subject with my parents), you should not be punished the whole month.

2nd - if the first thing you do on the morning of your birthday is step in cat diarrhea, the gods are having a lunch break and don't give a shit about you.

3rd - if the next thing you do is begin to call the insect that lives in your kitchen by a real name - seek help immediately. I'll introduce you to "Cricket" once his quivering body is swirling down in the john.

4th - Never go see a lawyer on your birthday, regardless of how cool she actually seems to be. She still requires a $2,500 retainer.

5th - Never go to a sportsbar with your gay friend. I promise, they will drink you under the table AND you still won't get laid...

... but it was well worth it!

6th - When a female says "birthday", I don't want a new cell phone (thanks for the thought, y'all). I want candy, flowers, and perfume. Come on, people. That's not that hard.

7th - Thanks for the candy, flowers, and perfume - I'm glad y'all got the text messages that dropped hints like atom bombs.

Considering this time last year I was landing in Shannon, Ireland, running four miles a day and completely (almost) healthy.... well, I'm not sure I would call it progress, just the natural "progression" of time.

Besides, it's not my fault I was born on May 23rd. I was early for the first time - ever. But think about it. Any earlier, I'd be a Taurus, any later and I'd still be a schizoid-Gemini.

My Eternal Thanks!
Signed,
Total Geezer.


PS If I say the word, "Figi" or "Los Roques" right now, 364 days before my next birthday, can someone please get the hint and start planning NOW!?! Shit it's not like I'm asking for world peace or any such elaborate thing!

As If There Weren't Enough Problems with Air Quality

Yeah, this is smoke from fires that are burning in South Georgia and North Florida. It means that even if the weather here is beautiful and calm, Mother Nature has decided to play footsie with us. It also means the AC has to go back on because my little one is starting the sniffles and it's due to this mess.

New Phrase

"medically futile"

Please, Lord, if I become "medically futile", hook me up to a morphine machine before you put a shotgun to my head and pull the trigger.

And Here We Go

What the hell?

Beddy-bye at 7PM (and I missed the BBQ) and now I'm back up at 4:30. I don't think my plan is working, but the ultimate goal seems to have been met. What was that original goal??? --- I've forgotten. Damn, and looking at the food, I really wish I made the BBQ.

However, tarot says, "It's your month to feel the vitality of the Sun as it moves through your sign. The world may seem a bit brighter, even if you are dealing with serious issues. You can accomplish what is required with greater ease now, for you are receiving stabilizing support from Saturn today. But you must take the initiative and be willing to work for what you want."

I've actually never been so godamn willing to work in my life. You go Saturn!! It's ironic that the Hubble telescope just sent back awesome pictures of Saturn. It's good to know there is an ass-kicking planet out there that has my back for the next few weeks.

Bubba has too much acid in his tank so it's time to fuck around with alkaline tablets which the guy from PetSmart said I could get. LORD ONLY KNOWS how much they will charge me. After getting Prozac for Amber-Needy-Grace, the pharmacist didn't blink twice when I told him I needed a litmus kit for my fish, Bubba Ganoosh. I was also told that City water is better than distilled water - go figure, apparently the City can do something right, even if it means adding so much shit to their water system that it will benefit my Beta.

Time for my favourite breakfast of celery and peanut butter. Yeah, OK, so all kids eat this shit, but as far as I feel, I'm no kid and the peanut butter keeps me from hypoglycemic shock - Did I ask if this could get any more fun?

Bubba Has Ick

I'm not making that up, either. I can't figure out who the genius was that invented that absolutely clever, most-certainly imaginative name for a disease.

Poor thing has a parasite that Betas can get and it causes them to do really weird shit - not like I need that from a fucking fish, but he's still my Bubba. Since I'm not about to send him to the vet (I've already dropped about $500 on cat tranquilizers and vet bills this month), I looked up Beta illnesses and they said it had to do with the water's ph and other things, including his carbon filter. Took care of the carbon filter yesterday and will get a ph kit today. Where the hell are those litmus papers when you need them?

Speaking of cats, most of them are off Valium and Prozac. Sadly, I'm now being prescribed both. However, I do have an advantage over those evil meds that have been making me so godamn sick - timing. Don't take them all at once in the morning. K-pax (yeah, that's a real fucking drug) is now downed at 3PMish. It seems to help, but who knows. Two more weeks before more visits to the vampire, who will tell me if the problems are getting better. I've been monitoring it lately and it seems a bit extreme, but then again, I don't have a "M.D." after my name and even my school loans aren't that high.

Friday night was bad. We have decided to fight work with legal action. The eunichs at Tech don't seem to understand that I don't lay down very easily - that should be taken literally, also. If it costs hundreds of thousands to get back my mere $1,400, tough shit. What a joke. However, I've made nicey with the lawyer and he's back on our side again and we are together on this decision. Sometimes, there is a proverbial final straw.

We met a nice couple from the Ninth Ward, who kept coming by to offer to "rake the yard" or whatnot. Finally, yesterday, I asked him if he could cut the grass since I can't do it right now and it was getting really, really bad. Turns out this guy can do all kinds of side work, which I can definitely use and he and his wife can certainly use the money. It's nice to give back. When the wife and I were talking, she said she's originally from Shreveport, but moved to N.O. about 12 years ago. She said she will never go back and seem she seems to really want to make it work here in Atlanta. We still have around 800,000 refugees here. What a fucking shame that Bush still has not done chicken shit to get those folks back online. However, what can they contribute to him? These are poor, mostly black, folks that have always lived simple lives. They are not Arab billionaires with oil and so much money they have to burn it up by building artificial archipelagos (which will fuck up my planet) and indoor skiing huts.

OK - off my soap box.

Speaking of fucking up my planet, I want to have a kid so I'm determined to do what I have to in order to make sure he/she has one to live in for at least the remainder of their life. That being said, I still haven't seen, "An Inconvenient Truth", but I'm pretty sure it will depress me and I'm almost sure I've heard or read most of this stuff anyway. Leonardo DiCaprio, who I previously didn't care much about, is showing good cajones since his movie, "The 11th Hour" did well at Cannes. Maybe one day the rest of America will get it. We are 5% of the world's population, but produce 27% of the trash. Yeah, yeah, China is worse, but look at what they're doing... starting to educate their little ones at age 3 - that's three fucking years old. Remember? We were all still pulling poopie-nuts out of our diapers and picking our noses, but these kids are learning the tango and advanced trig - which I failed miserably at the ripe old age of 27.

Well, time to take the evil pills. Also, my favourite radio show, "Organic X" comes on in a few. The rival radio station here has a similar show on Saturday and Sunday mornings, but they play "old" chill songs. Nice departure. I haven't heard some of those tunes since High School. Peter Gabriel still rules and Sting is going on tour again. Maybe I'm not that old after all!

People from Pittsburg Do Have a Sense of Humour

This made me smile, so I thought I would post it here and email it to others.

First annual RnR picnic
Date: 2007-04-12, 11:53AM EDT


How about we all meet in a park for a picnic? All the rants and ravers face to face with hot dogs and potato salad-- wouldn't that be fun? And so that we could identify one another, here are some guidelines for coming:

All the Christians bring bibles-- but they should be the really big ones like a family bible so that we can all see how big the bible is in your life.

All the non-Christians wear black.

Fat haters-- print out your collection of obese women and pin them all over your clothes so we will immediately know how you feel on the inside. Also, be sure to bring your size 6 girlfriends and wives.

Men who love to post pictures of nudes -- come in a g-string or thong. Or just let your penis stick out of your pants if you don't have a g-string or thong.

Martyrs and victims bring a really big life size cross and don't ever put it down-- not even when you want to put relish and mustard on your hot dog. Get someone else to do that for you.

Conservatives and liberals wear all white. Don't worry if we can't tell you apart because you're really not all that different and white shows how perfect you are.

Flaggers-- Bring your brain...We won't need ours.

Bush/war supporters bring pictures of your children in their uniforms or even better, their pictures from Iraq. Or, bring that flag folded into a triangle shape that you received in their honor. If you don't have children, wear your uniform or fatigues if you are just on leave.

Hummer/SUV drivers bring pictures of your last off road experience in your car. Also, bring us back our ozone.

All the Pittsburgh haters-- bring your suitcase cause we're going to take a collection and buy you tickets to leave.

People who love Pittsburgh-- bring roses.

All of you who hate people of other races-- don't bring anything; just wear your really cool white outfit with the matching pointy hat.

The guys who hate homosexuals can bring their collection of gay porn, their copies of M4M ads and their collection of show tunes so that we can have some music.

Women haters get to bring the beer.

Everyone who likes to post pictures of your cats-- bring your cats. Duh!

Pit bull owners can bring your pit bulls! Be sure to sit in the section with the cat owners and prove to everyone how your dog wouldn't hurt a living soul.

Women who post pictures of their breasts and thong-clad butts-- stay home. Your need for male attention is really annoying.

We will recognize the guy who says to only marry foreign women. He will be the one with a woman following a couple steps behind him... or maybe it will be two or three women.

Pittsburgh-- remember to wear sunglasses. The world outside your basement is awfully bright. Bring sunscreen.

It'll be great to see everyone in person!

I'll bring a first aid kit.

Another Reason to Hate My Work Neighbours

So the fucking army/military are really scootin'. I mean, when you have people who are going on their third and fourth tour to Iraq, getting their asses blown off by folks who could give a flying fuck-shit why they invaded their country, yet you recruiters offer "free" college tuition... let's review the golden rule, shall we?

Nothing in life is fucking free.

Shit, give me a M-16 and a few minutes. I'll gladly go postal on anyone right now, especially the godamn army and navy, who moved in next door to my office. Of all the departments for me to have to deal with on campus, these are the two that do not make me a happy camper.

Cruel joke. Thanks so much, God.

Does Anyone Give a Shit

http://www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/2007/05/08/0509meshmental.html

Looks like I'm not the only crazy one to have issues. Everytime I go downtown, I see schizophrenics and other mentally ill (vets included) and wonder why they are not getting help. This helps explain, even though this is no excuse for not caring for those incapable of caring for themselves.

What a sad world it has become.

Entering Month Four

of snore-fest.

Tarot says, "Nothing is quite as impossible as it seems, for you may feel a bit more pessimistic than usual. The emotions that are holding you back, however, can also contain the seeds for your forward movement. Don't accept defeat under any circumstances, even if your confidence is weak. Remember, today's actions set the stage for next week's transformations."

Let's see, "a bit more pessimistic" seems the understatement of the century. Holy shit. My sleep patterns have become - snoozy at dusk, wakey at 2 AM-4AM. For holy fuck sake, it really is time I either get the basement done and send someone there or I go to a hotel for the remainder of my Atlanta existence.

I had no idea a human face could obtain so many dark circles. I honestly believed those were reserved for racoons and meth addicts, neither of which I am..

My, My How Things Can Change

First, a great meeting with the City. I have new hope, albeit reserved, about our relationship and my ability to actually be diplomatic and honest. Shit that was stressful, but they played nicey and it felt really good. I have another meeting with them set up for later this week.

Second, looks like my baby-Honda has finally passed it's time. It really is past, I just don't like being dependent on walking around this fine City and since my credit has gone to shit, mostly in part to the work-fuck-up, I cannot afford another ride at this time.

Third, I got a little relief from my HR person about this little work issue, which actually isn't a "work" issue, but more like one of those little games I used to have to play when I worked for the dark side, 2 years ago. Sadly, those poor assholes still do not understand that "I a'int no dawg and I don't sit on no porch". Sorry for the poor vernacular, but I live in the South.

According to HR, my next step is to write a letter (oh, one of my favourite things to do) and explain my situation to my boss so my job is not in jeopardy. Also, I have to meet with the company OMSBUDSMAN - could someone please tell me what the fuck that word means? Ironically, it's the same guy I had to deal with when I was dealing with the issues from these same 2 asshole T-W-O fucking years ago. Shit - I called the godam truce and left. If you know me, that is definately not the way I usually play, but my sanity means more to me than a paycheck. Saltines and water are fine with me.

Well, off to see my witch doctor, then go see my waxist at Key Lime. Nothing like having all the hair in your body ripped out by the root to make you feel human. Oh, then I finally have an appointment with my doctor/doctor, who I will grab by the scrotum and tell him, "Give me fucking Prozac and take me off this shit that is driving me insane.". I think a reallllllllly good squeeze on his sack might get him to finally understand that I know more about my health than even his M.D. degree thinks he does.

What Goes Around, Comes Around

I'm actually doing OK today, relative to the past two months. However, I do have a meeting today that should help me accomplish quite a bit of my quest for harmony and peaceful - albeit it initially will look more like retribution. But, I've never been much for how shit "looks like", just as long as it's legal, moral, and it benefits yours truly.

Alas, I really am looking forward to this little meeting of the minds and just for good measure, the cooking gods are with me since I made some of the best banana bread ever and several (sugar-coated) pieces will go with me as a pseudo-insurance policy.

It may take some time for the effects of this morning to take it's toll, but several people have told me that now is the time to exercise what little patience I have.

G once told me, "Don't stress it. What goes around comes around, whether you're there to see it or not." So far, that seems to be the golden rule that has held true to this date and I'll go with that again today.

Video and Lyrics Can Really Say it All

http://www.warnerbrosrecords.com/click/click.php?id=63

Ok, so this is not what I wanted to post, but ever since Google bought YouTube, I've been struggling like many old folks do trying to figure out their Medicad.

Anyway, if it doesn't work, then just go to YouTube and punch in "Linkin Park" and check out the video for "What I Want". How apropos.

I'll have to get a 16-year old to show me how this shit works. For fucksake, I feel old.

As a matter of fact, 12 noon is approaching and a nap sounds delightful.

If I Were French...

#1 I think I'd live in Brittany.

and

#2 I'd definitely vote for Segolene Royal as their new president. Anyone who says they think Bush is a freak-show-Pres-of-the-US, is a friend of mine.

Besides, a middle-aged, beautiful woman, living "in sin" with four of their children, knows how to run a good home, and most likely, a good country.

Besides, all I have to read in "Le Monde" is Nicolas Sarkozy quoted as saying he would gladly shake Bush's hand where as I would gladly cut it off and shove it up his ass. Of course, he might actually enjoy it, which would defeat the point entirely.

Good luck, my French friends. You have a choice today. Become a part of the scourge of the earth like America? Or become part of the universal community and give all of us a chance at peace.

Who's Cuttin' ZZZZZZs

Well, let's see. An elimination of process here would be the best option:

Miss Poo: Snoozin'
Mousey: Snoozi'
Stinky: Snoozing
The Baby: Snoozin' (so adorable is that little one)

Day-Day: Snoozin' with the Bulldozer and everyother piece of large farm equipment he must have shoved up his noze.

Me: Well, let's just say, I ain't writing this shit in my sleep. They say patience is an attribute to those who have a healthy mental state. I guess I'm not there yet as I pulled a knife on the aforementioned bulldozer at midnight. Thank God, I managed three full hours of z-ville before the cramps started.

However, as I said, patience is worthy and today - at 2:45 - a mere 11 hours and 15 minutes from now, the DOC will at least be ready to eval the construction worker's apnea.


On another note; I got a message from a friend who tends to do shit that annoys him - yeah, OK, who am I to talk, right? Anyway, he stayed up and watched the Republican debate last night. Personally, I would rather have my nail pulled out with a Leatherman's and then take a swim in a bath of pig fat, but all that being so apropos, here's the note he sent me...

"...two of them came out against the others for supporting stem cell research, and they are stranding in the Ronald Reagan library for this thing. There go all the old republicans that are seriously looking at an illness that shits sooner than they will. Rebroadcast on MSNBC website"

I'm not surprised in the least. Another reason not to watch.

Work needs to come to a somewhat point of closure - good or bad - today. It's been two weeks and still the game is playing, which makes me assume, they don't want to play nicey-nicey with yours truly. What a sad, sad lesson someone will have to learn, and I don't play teacher like the compassionate, caring person someone like my Mum can be. Hence the reason - I don't fucking teach.

Going to see my chiro this morning, then take Day-Day to (what better be a fucking Merlin of a doctor) to convince this machine to have surgery and get rid of the primary problem of sleep for everyone.

Then, with a bit of luck---- it may just rain soon. For fuck sake, how do desert people do this? I don't plant cacti because I live in the southEAST and, occasionally, we expect to get water from the sky, even if it's laced with pcbs, HCL, and cat piss.

Fuck it. Going to read for a while since I have to get up at 5 AM and it's already 3:30. Check out the May issue of "Vanity Fair". It's their second annual "green issue" and it's quite interesting albeit not that enlightening if you keep your nose to the news-wheel.

Why I love my Tarot

OK, so maybe it's blasphemy, but I do love when my tarot hits a home run. I'm going to tell the boss that I need some leave of absence. It will hit hard in the bank, but be worth it to me physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Tarot said:

"Perhaps you are so busy at work that you need a change very soon. The pace has increased to a peak of craziness, but you aren't willing anymore to put up with what was previously acceptable. Change will happen, whether or not you take action, so don't push too hard or you may regret it later on.

The intense Scorpio Full Moon at 6:09 am EDT represents a culmination of an emotional cycle. Our feelings are stronger and our dreams are more real. The best application of this Full Moon is to delve into the tough issues, even if we are afraid of what we cannot see lurking in the shadows. The Sun's conjunction to interactive Mercury suggests that communication is crucial to transforming our fear into acceptance by choosing awareness over denial."

Actually 6:09AM is in about 20 minutes. That should help determine how the day goes. I know I've been up since 3, but that's only because water restrictions require me to water my yard and garden from midnight to 10 AM on Wednesdays and Sundays. Also, I've been pondering my go-in-for-the-kill revenge if things don't go well with my California trip. Details come later, but I'm feeling pretty good about the fact that regardless of whether or not work decides the easy route and plays nicey with this hormonal bitch, hell hath no fury...

Well, time to get a shower and chill before I try to take the ol' girl out for a spin. This should be a fun endevour, regardless. Oh, and it's also time to take those evil drugs, feed Bubba-Ganoosh (yeah, his name is Bubba and I really do think he's either gay or a trannie, but who am I to judge?) Then it's off to my most favourite place --- work. Some have to continue to pay the penalty for mistakes made even years and years ago.

Alas, if I hear the name, "Job", I will shoot.

Oh, and some good news? It maybe that the pigs across the street will wake up and realize that their water has been cut off. I have no idea why the City was out here at 9 PM, but the guy had a turn key and was at their water meter with a padlock. What irony. The one place I have to go all the time and I will probably wind up in the waiting room with Mommy-Pig. Did I mention the shotgun? Ah, I'm just joking. They won't let me take my 12-gauge into City Hall.

Wheeeeee!

This fucking medicinal rollercoaster ride is really beginning to piss me off. Actually, it's just annoying me because I'm told I'm a bit of a control freak and I guess - a hormonal tornado (on so many levels).

I bent down this morning to get the cat bowls for the lion pride and lost my balance. Just so happens that I keep the cat bowls next to the kitchen sink. Thank God the edge of the counter was there to break my fall to the floor! Whew. With this knot on my forehead, I feel like a godamn gargoyle.

The cats were laughing their asses off, though. It's 4 AM and I'm staggering around the kitchen like a weeble, seeing stars, and they think it's Comedy Central.

Fucking ingrates.

My chiropractor did some witch doctor shit yesterday that I have faith will help me more than those fucking morons at the doctor/doctor. At least I don't have much choice right now. Whatever the Moron-Medics have done to me, I think they should bill the fucking cats since they're the ones who apparently get the most pleasure watching me fall down like a 10-month old, diaper-wearing, baby.

The insomnia was the first few days, now I'm dead. I think I went to bed just after sunfall last night, and I couldn't drag my ass out of the bed at 7 AM. It's about that time in the evening, sunfall is in 30 minutes, and me thinks, down goes the clown. At least I moved the cat dishes away from the sink.

Speaking of that, AmberGrace has finally figured out that even though she thinks she's smarter than me, I outweigh her ten-fold, and sheer brute force with my irritabilty levels, will prove that I walk on two legs and have a bigger brain - maybe a very, cloudy brain, but a bigger brain, nonetheless.

And just to test my health issue - I thought Anna escaped today and a dog had eaten her (very long story), and my work has decided that water sometimes appears to be under the bridge... especially when you're the one that called the truce, but it may not actually be there. Me thinks that at the very least - somebody, or somebodies, may have made a very expensive, tactally-deficient error. Call it a moral decision on my part. I love that. I now wonder why I had Mephistophicles on my desktop for so long.

Oh, and Daddy's advice was "you'll get used to the drugs". Lovely, thanks to this little potion the Moron-Medics have me on, I feel like I'm having my 98th birthday, not my 38th birthday.