"Decisions on the home front may not come easily today, yet your choices probably aren't as critical as they seem. Part of the problem stems from being in the middle of an unsolvable dilemma. Once you accept the notion that immediate resolution is not likely, you are freed from having to take any action at all. Wait and see what happens before you make your next move."
Or it could be that fucking awesome banana bread I call a "thank you" gift to the City of Atlanta. I really do hate the word "bribe" since I really do think it's called "DAMAGE CONTROL". If some people understood that 10 years ago, I wouldn't have a job right now, so I guess G is right... what goes around, comes around.
The boys have left me. Am I happy? Let's define "happy", eh? Happy means to me: kicking back with someone who you think shares the same desires and goals that you do and fucking laughing when things do not go as planned.
When you do this and you wind up crying your eyes out, that is not "happy" in my personal Thesarus. I love being told by my Father that I need to "grow up and quit whining like a child." Yup, damn near the big 4-0 and my DADDY is telling me to grow up. Boy Howdie ----- am I making progress yet or should the sheriff pick me up at Branson's house again? 'Course only a hand full of folks would understand that reference. Thank YOU, God.
I'm so sore and tired, I feel like a Zombie, but alive we are, and thank YOU GOD. why do I always seem to hang out with retards and runts? --- I mean, why do I always hang with people who think they deserve handouts? That's a cop-out because my Daddy was the same way with my brothers and me... I never saw Daddy pull a shotgun on my Bro's dates, though. That is a funny memory, whatchin' Joe Mac run down the drive way while my Daddy was loading his 12 gauge.
Oh and lest we forget the most pleasant family moment when I found second base for the first time on my Daddy's barroom couch. That memory still stays in my mind, meanwhile, I cannot remember if I cooked supper for tonight. But memories of that night with routy's hands up my shirt, was priceless when my Father came in to mix his Gin and Tonic. I'd be amazed if he remembers those days, but after the lecture this afternoon, I'm pretty sure his memory can out score even mine.
Too many meds tonight. I'm really looking forward to the darkness. Once again, I will be alone because I am not a priority.
Simply put.
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