He Really is Geppeto

I just saw an interview with George Sr. this evening. Since I'm watching so much of the RNC this week, I can't see how I missed him - hiccup.

Anyway, it's the first I've seen of this Mighty Man, who once battled... hum, which drunk Russian was that? Actually, seeing George Senior at the fine, ripe age of 81, I think he looks amazing. I mean look what a that plastic surg...hiccup. Nevermind.

Sorry about that last hiss.

I really do think George Sr. has a very sharp mind. In a 60-second interview with Peter Jennings at the RNC, he remembered three very interesting facts:

1) He has no political aspirations and no reason to hide his agenda.

2) The President should never be refered to as "my boy" or "Georgie".

3) He has every intention to advise the President on all American affairs.

Yicks! He really DID come off as a hard-assed, chipped-shouldered, dick (and I should know; my friends used to call my Dad, "Hitler" --- but I'm the one who deserved that one.)

Since I was much younger, and living in a foreign country at the time, I don't remember experiencing much of George Sr. presidency. Seeing him tonight makes me grateful I missed that American milestone and makes me understand a little bit more about the man who is now president.

It also asks the question about who really - is - driving.

"As soon as he gets home, Geppetto fashions the Marionette [sic] and calls it Pinocchio."

I Just Had to....

Look who's flippin' now:

Bush interview on Monday:
Lauer: “You said to me a second ago, one of the things you'll lay out in your vision for the next four years is how to go about winning the war on terror. That phrase strikes me a little bit. Do you really think we can win this war on terror in the next four years?”

President Bush: “I have never said we can win it in four years.”

Lauer: “So I’m just saying can we win it? Do you see that?”

President Bush: “I don't think you can win it. But I think you can create conditions so that those who use terror as a tool are less acceptable in parts of the world –- let's put it that way."


Bush Speech on Tuesday: Bush Now Saying 'We Will Win' Terror War
By JENNIFER LOVEN

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - President Bush said Tuesday ``we will win'' the war on terror, seeking to quell controversy and Democratic criticism over his earlier remark that victory may not be possible.

Holy Smokies, Batman. Twenty-four hours? At least Kerry had about six months worth of time to reconsider and learn about the situation before he recognized and admitted he was wrong. Is Georgie still smokin' the ganja or what?

When it's Time to Put a Child in Jail...

From IndyStar.com:

11-year-old girl charged with torturing a kitten

August 31, 2004

An 11-year-old Indianapolis girl faces legal trouble after witnesses told Indianapolis police she intentionally mistreated a kitten Saturday night by swinging it in the air with a cord tied around its neck.

The girl was arrested on a Class A misdemeanor charge of torturing or killing a vertebrate animal. Animal Care and Control officials said in a report that the animal had to be euthanized because of injuries to its neck and its poor health.

The incident happened in the 2300 block of North Moreland Avenue around 6:30 p.m. An Indianapolis police officer who arrived to investigate also reported seeing the girl slam the kitten onto a wagon and heard the kitten cry out, according to a report.


I say, not only commit the child to YDC, but bury the parents alive. I would use the term, "execute", but as most know, I don't believe in executing. This, however, makes me want to change my mind.

Don't forget, it's a proven fact that those who abuse animals, grow up to abuse people. Sick little bitch.

Mean Bitch, Francis

To my family in St. Thomas and south Florida and to my friends in central and north Florida and south-coastal Georgia: Looks like Francis is gonna really fuck up someone's Labour Day weekend. I'll be praying for everyone.

You're an Embarrassment

http://www.listentothisvoice.com/

This is really something that has most of us Georgians (who aren't right-winged Nazis) boiling pissed. I've voted for Zell Miller every chance I had, but never again.

Zell, please start telling folks you're from South Carolina.

Even the Brits Know...

... about the mass protest against Georgie.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/default.stm

Ain't this a pretty picture from the front page of the AJC this morning...



I had a feeling I wasn't the only one against the current administration. I don't remember seeing this type of thing at the beginning of the Democratic convention.

Oh MY God...

... not even I've gotten this fucked up before. Check out this story in today's AJC:

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/cobb/0804/30marfatal.html

This 21-year old guy and his friend were out drinking Saturday night. Apparently, his buddy got sick and the first guy decided to drive him home. The next morning, neighbours saw a headless body in the guy's truck and called the cops. The cops woke the 21-year old up and they said he was still wasted and covered in blood. They think the sick guy must have had his head sticking out the window of the truck when the driver swerved on the road and ran past a guide wire to a phone pole. That little manuveur decapitated his passenger, but the driver didn't realize it. He continued to drive to his house where he went inside and went to sleep. They found the other guy's head by the side of the road.

OH MY GOD - can you say, "moderation"? That's probably the last cocktail he'll ever have. I'll bet he gets lots of sober time in the pokie, though, since he'll probably be there the rest of his natural life. Dude just turned 21, too.

Lookin' for Sand in the Wrong Box

I couldn't resist...

Anti-Kerry folks are diggin'. I mean really, to say that some people are out there trying to disrepute the fact that he earned his third Purple Heart? Let that one go for a minute and think...

Fucking THIRD?... Purple Heart????

Not FIRST Purple Heart...

Not SECOND Purple Heart...

But the most coveted, THIRD Purple Heart????? I mean really, by the time you read about the "third" P.H., you kinda consider them old hats and they deserve what they get when they get it--- right? Just curious.

Oh, lest us not forget the Bronze Star.

But someone's gonna give him shit about earning his THIRD "Purple Heart"????... And this so 'conveniently' comes up 36 YEARS later???? Why so cotton-silent, Frogboy? Just now gettin' that therapy or have you did you receive a call from an Administrative admirer?

Note to readers: Historically, Vietnam was never a "war", similar to what...(hiss) ok, for another rant. Don't believe me? Find a dictionary, Webster.

The last time I tallied medals in the Vietnam "conflict", Kerry was up by at least ONE because Kerry's National Guard bud, Georgie, was smokin' serious weed in L.A (Lower Alabama) and test drivin' Daddie's power to get him out of the hooch for drinkin' more Jack than I can - and that's a lot 'o Jack.

Maybe it's the optimist in me, but I suggest leaving Kerry's war record alone. I mean, if you never went to anything short of a family squabble and your opponent went to Vietnam, over and over... Why would you bring it up to challenge him?

One of my favourite expressions comes to mind: "When your hair is on fire, be sure to put it with a hammer."

Bang away, Georgie.

Ciao, mi amores.

Film Freak

Oh yes I am. If it was filmed, I'll probably watch it (boy, how about that bait for abuse about porno). Because I'm such a film freak, I figured I'd give everyone a brief sysnopsis of films that either must be watched and absorbed or must be feared like a unruly god. This past week, thanks to our drenching camping outage, I've been battling a cold and other health issues, so movies have been my solace.

Note: I also watch a bunch of music videos since I have a TV in my office. Now, the reason for the TV (originally) was so we could watch developments following 9/11 and the inevitable war in Iraq. Ever since then, I keep the TV on either videos or movies. Rarely is there a movie on during the day that I haven't seen so it really isn't like I'm not doing work stuff - OK, I'm not doing work stuff, but regardless, as I said in my first blog, that's my intention. Needless to say, I have VH1 on right now and there is a video on that is atrocious (not to mention the song sucks, too). I'll have to consider a music video roll, but let's get back to my favourite medium, MOOOOOVIES.

Best New Movie: Mystic River - Fantastic character study and story line. Kinda pulls on your heart string (if you have a heart) and really makes you think about concepts of "deserving" and the different dimensions of "fear".

Note: Since I just recently gave up smoking (six months on Wednesday), I didn't make it much to the theater much so some of these movies might not be "new". I do, however, have about 200 HBO, STARZ, Skin-a-max, what have you, movie stations (not to mention INDEMAND and PPV) and in reality I almost prefer to sit on my couch, drinking the obligatory beer, with a cat on my lap when I watch movies.

Best chickie movie (yes, I watch them): Under the Tuscan Sun - MAN, I LOVED this story. Concept: Lady finds out stinking pig husband is cheating on her, but is willing to give her BIG BUCKS to pay her off. She accepts and uses the money to buy and renovate a villa in Tuscany and starts an awesome new life. Sounds cheezy to those with testosterone, but I have since been looking for villas in Tuscany. I mean if I can renovate a 90-year old house in the 'hood, I would consider Tuscany an upgrade. Yes, I know I don't speak Italian, but I don't speak ebonics either. The odd thing about the movie is that the woman didn't think her life was so great. Funny how the "grass is always greener" jumps up to bite you in the butt on occasion.

Best "old" movie: And the Band Played On - Realistically, this should be required watching (or reading because it was a book first). This is an adaptation from Randy Shilts book about the facts leading up to the AIDS crisis. Matthew Modine is a doctor who goes to Africa in the late 1970s and sees some of the first AIDS cases. He later gets a job with the CDC and the rest of the movie is the story about how AIDS has become our generation's black plague. You would not believe the number of big-name celebrities that signed up to do this piece. One of the central themes is the way the government, at that time (and maybe even still), viewed homosexuals and the disease. A good friend of mine who passed away from AIDS in 1994 suggested I watch or read the story and ever since, it has been absolutely dead-on. Bring a tissue.

Best "loopie" movie: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: I say "loopie", because I probably would have enjoyed it more if I had smoked a big, fat blunt before I saw it. Great special effects, but the story line was so crooked it was serpentined. I guess the appeal to anyone is that the central focus is on the literary characters, Allan Quartermain, Dorian Grey, Mina Harker, Captain Nemo, Dr. Jekyll, The Invisible Man, and Tom Sawyer. They all get together to fight a mysterious figure who is trying to start a world war. Too bad Sean Connery (who I worship) was cast - it must have been one of those contractual obligations. It really does nothing for his career. Like I said, very cool special effects - especially Mr. Hyde and the Invisible Man. Quirky fact: The British producers threw the Tom Sawyer character in at the last minute because they didn't think Americans would watch it if there wasn't a Yank in the film. They should have worried that sober people, regardless of nationality, wouldn't watch it 'cause it's... well, "loopie".

I think that's a good start for my first "Film Freak" episode. I guess everyone knows now how I gained so much weight that you could park a car under the shadow of my ass.

Besides, "Silence of the Lambs" is starting and I think Mr. Hopkins is the shit. Ciao.

Glad I Graduated When I Did

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/0804/25regents.html

OK - Basically this article in today's AJC states that if our Governor (Mr. Perdue) gets his way, students will see an unprecedented mid-term tuition hike. That's ludicrous! I was just looking at tuition costs at my alma mater and I was choking down the numbers - a four hour class is $640!!

Dear Mr. Perdue: I case you didn't notice, Georgia ranks 48th out of 50 states in stupid kids in America. Great idea to make education too expensive for anyone but the weathiest, but I guess there is some backward-ass illogic there.

Bon Voyage and Congratulations

Baby bro called yesterday before his flight. He's off to the Andes (that's right, the mountains) to see funny boy, Big J, get married.

To little bro: Enjoy Lima and Macchu Picchu!

To Big J: Congratulations! Looks like little bro and me will be the only two single people left in the country.

Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God

was a sermon written by Jonathan Edwards in the early 1700s. Edwards was a Puritan preacher who thought it would be a good idea to attract folks by having them FEAR their "god". Yup, preach love and divine forgiveness, then scare the shit out of them with little ditties like this. Edwards wrote this sermon called "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" and (if memory serves) he described his theory that people were simply like spiders, hanging from a webstrand while, "god" dangled us from an open fire.

I only mention this literary gem as the opener to the more enlightening story of our mountain slumber (which I am eager to expanded), but it will have to come in droves between the much needed sleep.


Editor's Note: To the 'Weather Channel'. "Isolated showers" does not mean torrential downpours and cloud-to-ground lightning for 30 straight hours.

Editor's Note: That earlier blog where I wrote about the dumbass under the banyon tree? I'd like to delete that from by blog-log.


Note to Self (and interesting fact for all): Cats really are resiliant. We were gone three days and I only had to clean up two shits-on-the-floor and one minor upchuck... That's much better than even I did on this last camping trip.


Note to Self (and interesting fact for all): Aluminum is the fourth most conductive metal behind copper, silver, and gold. Important fact when purchasing next tent.


Time to go nappy again... until later.

24 Hours...

...from now, I'll be setting up a tent in the North Georgia mountains. Now, that might not sound like fun to some folks, but when you live every day in a dirty, ugly city like Atlanta (actually, it's only really dirty and ugly in the heart of summer and winter), you look forward to fresh air, green grass, trees, and clear water.

Also, 22 hours from now, I will be dropping off my roommate's 18-year old kid at college. Big day for him - bigger day for me. Two months ago when he called to ask if he could stay with us instead of his mom, I figured, "Sure, no sweat." I must have been smokin' some crazy shit back then. The irony is that he was hardly ever there, but boy, when he was... I just thought my little brother was a lazy ass, but he ain't got nothin' on this kid. I think he also has short-term memory problems and he might even need a hearing aid. I mean how many times do you have to say, "Throw the empty fucking Coke can away!!!!" OK, enough about that especially considering my roomie might be checking my rants.

In any event, we're headed to the mountains to camp, kayak, eat, drink, and be merry. I am so jazzed about breathing real air and enjoying my first vacation since January!! It ain't France, Malaysia, or Peru, but it ain't Altanta either. If I see a beer-swigging bear, I'll be sure to take a picture.

Everyone have a great weekend as I will be sans-technology for the next three days.

Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed

This from "The Blotter" in Creative Loafing. (The "Loaf" is our avant-garde, bourgeois, liberal local paper): I probably shouldn't be posting shit from the Blotter 'cause it only undermines my attempt to prove to outsiders that Atlantans aren't backward-ass, knuckle-scratching hicks, but this is a good one.


An officer was patrolling Mayson Turner Boulevard. A white SUV pulled into the intersection, and the officer noticed that the driver was holding a crack pipe to her lips.

The officer stopped the SUV and spoke with the driver, a 23-year-old woman, and the passenger, a 31-year-old man. The man shoved something into his right pocket. The officer asked, "Do you have any weapons or drugs on you?" No, the man said. The officer asked, "Can I search you?" Yes, the man said.

The officer found 1.7 grams of cocaine in the man's pocket. The officer asked, "Why did you give me consent to search you if you had drugs on you?"

"Man, I've been snorting all day," the man replied.

The woman was not arrested, since there was no residue in the crack pipe.

Emmett's Dream

This is an awesome idea. Of course, I realize the "tastes like chicken" jokes could go a long way, but think about it. Let's say you're insane enough to live in Manhattan and you're insane enough to have a cat that you want to take with you every where. Wouldn't you just love to take the furry critter to dinner? I know Emmett would empty my bank account and my evil, terrorist cat, Willow, would shred me to a pulp if I tried taking her out of the house.

From the BBC:
Cafe cool opens for New York cats
Eartha Kitt
Eartha Kitt lent her name to the opening of New York's cat cafe
A US cat food company has found the purr-fect way of spoiling its feline clients - by opening a Manhattan cafe for them and their owners.

The Meow Mix cafe serves up dishes such as Deep Sea Delight and Cluck a Doodle Doo for the cats, and baguettes and soda drinks for the owners.

There are just two rules, says the Meow Mix Company - no dogs and no catnip.

The firm says the New York cafe will open and, if successful, others could be created around the country.

Movie star Eartha Kitt, who played Catwoman in the hit film Batman, was among those who attended the launch.

"Well, I think the Cat Cafe is a very good idea because it is a wonderful way for us to get acquainted as people because if you have a cat and we have a cat we can all sit at the same table and nosh," she told Associated Press Television.

Cat happy

Other cat owners agreed.

"It would be fun to try it," said Frank Guiterman, who owns a Persian cat called Scarlett O'Hara.

"You know there is no place for people to take their cats, so may be this would work out nicely," he told Reuters television.

"I think if it is going to succeed anywhere, it is going to be right here on 5th Avenue, definitely," said Ellen Levin.

But some, such as Lauren Lazarus, were more doubtful.

"I decided to torture my cat and bring her here but she is not having fun," she told Reuters television.

Richard Thompson, CEO of New Jersey-based Meow Mix Company, said: "Our goal is to keep cats happy. The idea is that you can bring them and start socialising them."

An Animal After My Own Heart - or Liver

Bear downs 36 beers, passes out at campground
Rainier, not Busch, the beverage of choice for thirsty black bear
The Associated Press
Updated: 7:26 a.m. ET Aug. 19, 2004

BAKER LAKE, Wash. - When state Fish and Wildlife agents recently found a black bear passed out on the lawn of Baker Lake Resort, there were some clues scattered nearby — dozens of empty cans of Rainier Beer.

advertisement
The bear apparently got into campers’ coolers and used his claws and teeth to puncture the cans. And not just any cans.

“He drank the Rainier and wouldn’t drink the Busch beer,” said Lisa Broxson, bookkeeper at the campground and cabins resort east of Mount Baker.

Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest. The beast then consumed about 36 cans of Rainier.

A wildlife agent tried to chase the bear from the campground but the animal just climbed a tree to sleep it off for another four hours. Agents finally herded the bear away, but it returned the next morning.

Agents then used a large, humane trap to capture it for relocation, baiting the trap with the usual: doughnuts, honey and, in this case, two open cans of Rainier.

That did the trick.

“This is a new one on me,” Heinck said. “I’ve known them to get into cans, but nothing like this. And it definitely had a preference.”

This is just sad

I mean really sad. This looks like the stadium crowd for a little league basket weaving contest. Little would you guess it's the stadium crowd for one of the 2004 Athens Olympic games.



I was talking to a friend of mine here and he asked if I had seen any reports of how slack the attendance is at the games. Both of us are vets of the 1996 Atlanta games and we remember, VIVIDLY, the crowds that hounded our streets for two weeks. Because we were working in the Olympic Village (Georgia Tech), we didn't have the luxury of escaping the city for the games like the rest of the locals.

I can understand some skepticism and concern regarding security and terrorism, but get real. We had one hell of a security set up here and that was BEFORE 9-11. Can you imagine what Athens has? Not only did we have awesome security, but look where it got us. We allowed a skinhead-dipshit-assbrain murderer to kill two people with a pipe bomb in the city park. If your turn is up, your turn is up.

The Olympic Committee thought about giving tickets away, but they said that wouldn't be fair to those who paid. On the one hand, that pisses me off, because I would KILL to go to Greece, especially since the hotels and restaurants are giving such mass discounts. On the other hand, if I dropped thousands of buckies to get tickets, fly over there, stay in a hotel... and then they started giving away tickets - hmmmm, yeah, I can see their point.

It's too bad attendance is so poor. I have a TV in my office and I get to watch all the games live. Some of the contests are really good, but I feel like I'm the only one watching.

Don't Sugar Coat It!!

Today's photo of the day from Punta Gorda, FL.

It don't get much more clear cut than this...

You Must Be Shittin' Me

From CNN this morning: "A man who stepped outside his house to smoke a cigarette died when a banyan tree fell on him in Fort Myers, authorities said."

As an ex-smoker, I never could master the art of smoking a cigarrette in 120 mph wind and driving rain.

How the fuck do you do that?

Why the fuck would you want to do that?

For Christ's sake, fool! If you need that smoke so badly, go to the bathroom and turn on the exhaust fan.

Maybe God was trying to save him from the cruel death of cancer. But really, how is he gonna look arriving at St. Peter's gate and the Great Key Master is laughing his ass off?

St. Pete: (laughing his ass off) A banyon tree? Ha ha ha That's a good one. What the fuck is a banyon tree? But, better yet, why were you outside, under the FUCKING tree, in a CAT 3 hurricane?

Stupid Ass Person from Ft. Myers: "I dunno. I guess 'cause I ain't got no fan in the double wide."

Kiss my ass and call me, Skippy. Every day is a new day in the Deep South.

A New Kind of Justice

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3562236.stm

Not that I would recommend this type of justice for everyone, but I think certain criminal types, rapists most definately included, should consider their options when headed for the courtroom. I mean, is it really so bad to have security protecting your scumball, criminal ass when you walk into the court?

I guess if I were one of the 25 women, I wouldn't have hesitated - except to perhaps determine the best method of retaliation.

Did Somebody Say, "Steak?"

Yup, this is vaccuum-brain Emmett again (you can tell by that Mafioso look on his face). This time it's a view of his sleek profile. Remember that scene in King Kong when the giant ape came through the jungle splitting the trees? Well, my little man here is only a kitten, but when he drops on the floor, the whole fucking house trembles. I would imagine he'll tip the scales around 30 LBs by the time he's finished his growth spurt. When he jumps on the waterbed, it feels like a goddamn tsunami, but what can I do? I wuv my wittle boy.

Stupid Pet Tricks

OK, I've only been doing this blogger thing for a while, but this one I couldn't resist. This is the hands-down winner of the Stupid Pet Tricks contest. This is Emmett and his trick is trying to eat the lens off the camera. Reminds me a bit of a photo IbeJO put on his site, but at least Nala looked like she had a modicum of intellegence. Emmett's brain is a pure vaccuum.

My Precious

To those of you who want to know what I do when I'm not doing anything... behold, my very own labour of love. For the past three years, I have been renovating this monster. Why, you ask? Because I'm a fucking moron, that's why.

However, after three years, I finally have the basement enclosed (mostly) and once I get next year's tax return, I will install the bathroom downstairs. It has been hell only having one bathroom (especially when my roommate indulges in too much of his homemade chili), but soon I'll be able to kick him downstairs!! I have to remember to buy the commercial grade exhaust vent for the downstairs bathroom.

Take note of the party tent. My roomie picked up two of them from work. These things are awesome!!

Charley's a comin'

This little ditty was taken off Sanibel Island yesterday. Charley looks like a mean MF with a little attitude to boot. To all of those in west FL, north central FL, and northeast FL (to include you, IbeJO), be careful. 105 MPH winds and 18 foot tidal surges are really no joke. They also expect Charley to hold together until it reaches the Virginia area.

Shopping at the Ghetto Kroger

OK, so if you don't already know, I live in the Ghetto. By that I mean I am what some folks call an "Urban Pioneer". OK, still don't get it? I live in a neighbourhood where I am considered the cream of the OREO cookie, or should I say the generic chocolate flavoured cookie.

In any event, the Kroger (local grocery chain in the south) is the closest place for us to shop. That's not to say I can't drive to hoity-toity land (where I used to live) and shop in a real store, but proximity is important when you are tired.

This evening I had to run to the store to get some staples and a "thank you" card for a "friend" of my dad's (more about that in another rant-a-log). She sent me a cookbook and it was the least I can do, but I didn't think it would be an issue buying a card at the grocery. Little did I rememeber that I was looking in the "ghetto" Kroger. Now, most of the time, if you need a card from the grocery, it's no bid deal, however, today was a different experience. First, there was not one card in the slot it should have been in, i.e., the "wedding" cards were in the "sympathy" section - OK maybe THAT was not an accident - but in any event, it was chaos trying to find the right area. Once I finally found the "thank you" area, the cards were mixed and so were the envelopes. Thank God my mum taught me to always check to see if the envelope and card fit.

Well, enough about my stupid idea to buy a greeting card at ghetto Kroger. However, let me enlighten those who are clueless as to other aspects of ghetto Kroger:

Number One: You can ALWAYS find enough pig-feet for any occasion. Having a family reunion with 300 people, including your Uncle Gus? Pig feet fit the bill every time. If pig-feet aren't enough and you're lookin' for variety, don't forget to stop by the hamhock and gizzard sections - my mouth be waterin' as I write. Yummy, can I have some chitlins', too. Don't forget the kidney gravy. And Americans have a problem with haggis because????

Number Two: Rotted tomatoes are a show stopper. Nevermind that any dim-wit, buttface can grow tomatoes eight months out of the year in their own backyard in the south, but ghetto Kroger makes sure their supply is efficiently rotted so you can spend five dollars a pound to be proud.

Number Three: The assortment of cheeses is astounding. France is a distant fourth in the type and quality of cheese that ghetto Kroger provides. There's mild cheddar, sharp cheddar, and very sharp cheddar. If you're very lucky, you can find some mutts-a-rella, but I ain't got no clue what to do with this. Maybe waterproof the roof?

Number Four: Melted ice cream is a real treat. Considering most folks don't have air conditioning in the ghetto, why bother freezing the stuff in the first place? If you do find it frozen in the store, be sure that when you get it home, you scrape off all the freezer burn before poisoning yourself.

5) The pregnant, toothless, teenage cashiers add a real sparkle to my shopping experience. Every time I see "Shaniquala", or "Diamnondiana" or "Asskissmyfatassa" and they ask me, "What dis be?", I always smile back and tell them, "Oh yes, that is a rare vegetable called a potato."


Well, that's enough of a rant about ghetto Kroger. I'm finding that by publishing it in my blog, I'm less likely to go postal on my roommate when I get home. Hail, little Bro, for the blogger into.

Does anyone speak Nubian?

OK, so what if the Sudanese are killing each other? They ain't got no oil so we ain't goin' over there to help. And these are Arabs, too. I would have thought at least one of those variables would bring the subject to the front page, but I guess not. Besides, there's no need to start another war we cannot finish - me thinks Vietnam, Bosnia, Afghanistan, Iraq, are just a nifty, relatively recent few. Yes, I realize we've finished plenty of wars, Grenada... um, Grenada and...

Well, I know there were others.

Democrats have long been accused of being the party that loves to get involved in other country's business (in the name of preserving or enforcing Democracy), but people!!!! Come on! CONSISTANCY should be an operative term when we talk foreign policy.

However, when we talk domestic policy, there's plenty of consistancy in the media. I mean, when someone goes missing or winds up dead, as long as they are white, female, upper-middle class folks from Utah or Califonia, BAM! - Headliners. Me thinks Polly Class, Elizabeth Smart, Laci Peterson, Lori Hacking. Now, there's also Kobe. He isn't white, or female, or upper-middle class, but I bet the girl he had sex with is.

Maybe I'm jsut generalizing. But can anyone name a black, male, upper class man from Alabama that was killed recently? No? That's because there is no such thing as an upper-class black man from Alabama. It's a trick question, but you still get my point.

Belated Birthday

OK, I'm a crap sister. Yesterday was my baby brother's birthday. I know I shouldn't call him "baby" 'cause he just hit the innocuous age of 33. However, even 33 deserves a personal phone call or something, especially considering the lame gift I sent him.

Sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to you, Little Man, and I hope you had a great birthday!!!!

Love, me

The New Judas

Disclaimer: I am Roman Catholic so I reserve the right to unabashedly insult and criticize my own Church: Starting with this little diddy in today's AJC...

"Atlanta Archbishop John F. Donoghue put local Roman Catholic churches in the middle of the presidential race last week, declaring politicians who support abortion rights should be denied Holy Communion."

Dear Father: Please keep your goddamned nose out of politics. The brightest idea the founding fathers had was that separation of Church and State and I can't go around bashing Bush for his line-crossing if you sit there saying the same thing. Also, this points to another issue I've previously discussed, and that is, abortion is not your decision either.

Keeping on this religious theme, I should take a moment to es-plane my theo-notions. I happen to be what one could call a "progressive" Catholic (a good friend of mine who happens to be gay and his partner, who happens to be an ex-Communicated Catholic priest, gave me that term.) Progessive Catholics believe whole-heartedly that the Church needs to rethink some things. The first Nicean councils were held in the 3rd and 4th centuries. These come to Jesus meetings were held to determine certain critical aspects of Church dogma. Then, almost 1500 years later the Church had another Council. It was kinda like the Pope and the Bishops said, "Shit, we haven't had a pow-wow in a while. Let's hook up and shoot the shit and change some stuff to keep those lemmings on their toes." But as far as I remember from Catechism, all they decided to do hear was eliminate the requirement for Mass in Latin and that women had to wear head covers. My point is that I (and many others) think a lot has happened since JC walked the earth and the Church needs to really reconsider some very important issues. Some of those topics include:

Christ's marital state (more on this in another blog)
Women as priests
Homosexuality as moral sin
Abortion
Birth Control
Priest's celibacy
... and there are plenty of others, but getting back to my bud, Archbishop Donoghue, apparently there weren't a bunch of folks at Mass yesterday backing him up so I do feel a little relieved.

Just so I don't appear as a total heretic, I do believe in most of the fundamental Church doctrine, just not some of the ideas that the ancient men chose have us follow. In other words, I believe in the rules, not the guidelines.

I guess I need to start watching out for lighting bolts.

My New Favourite Talk Show

Referring to the criticism that Bush endured during the moments he was reading to kindergarten kids and just heard the news about planes hitting the WTC: "You never saw the seven minutes because they don't want our leader to look like a deer in the headlights... Which is actually being unkind to deer." – Michael Moore

This was a quote heard on the new Bill Maher show that comes on Friday nights 11PM EST on HBO. Last week was absolutely hilarious as Billy had Mr. Moore, David Dreier, Bill Owens, Kim Campbell and Ralph Nader as his guests.

You really have to wonder how pompous and arrogant Dreier and Owens must be to agree to appear on a show hosted by a liberal, watched by liberals, and including other guests such as Frm. PM (Canada) Campbell and - of ALL PEOPLE - Michael Moore. The esteemed assface Dreier even said, "By the time this show is over, I will convert you, Bill Maher and even you, Michael Moore, into Republicans. Mr. Moore's retort was resounding, "Well, wouldn't we be considered 'flip-flopping'.

I missed last Friday because I was half dead and -really- 11 PM??? I am definitely a morning person. If anyone saw it, pass along some notes as they haven't updated the website as of 6 this morning.

Off to another wonderful - oh, so busy (not) week.

Test picture

I'm learing how to post pictures and this is my first. This one always makes me smile and considering it's a Monday...

BTW - I'm sure you pessimists out there are going to say, "Oh, that's so superimposed," and "Who the hell wants to see rodents." To you, I smile brightly and say, "Fuck off."

Happy Monday

Can you say "I'm Annnn-ggggg-rrrrrr- yyyyyy"

OK, the thing that really chaps my ass about these girls is that nobody wants to talk about the real "why". If you haven't heard about these two "heavenly creatures", they are from south of Atlanta and they are 15- and 16- year old lesbians who stabbed to death their grandparents. The one girl, Holly (the granddaughter) has a Mommy Dearest who is in the state pen for drug possession. When mum went to the can, grandma and grandpa took Holly in to "save" her. Now for those who have a real brain, in the south, being "saved" is a little different that tossing someone a cookie when they're starving. Being "saved" means repenting to the LAUD, that's right the big J.C. himself.

These two geezers were "upstanding members of the Fayette Southern Baptist church" notice they didn't say "community" because in Fayette County, if you ain't part of the baptist church, you ain't part of the community. One thing that really makes my point hit home is if you look at the picture. These two girls had to wear bulletproof vests to their arraignment. This is because the true members of the SBC aka "community", want to kill them. Hummmmmm, must be that eye-for-eye thing. But if someone is truly full of shit, they can justify anything by dis-interpreting The Good Book.

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/metro/fayette/0804/08fayetteteens.html

Which One is It?

CNN: "A 74-year-old murderer became the oldest U.S. inmate put to death in decades Thursday after courts and the governor refused to stop his execution."

OK, so Alabama killed a geez. Not surprising in the least, but what really jerks my chain is that the same Bible-thumpin', conservative, dipshit that pulled the trigger (actually stuck in the needle in this case) is the same Bible-thumpin', conservative, dipshit that voted against a woman's right to abortion. What's the deal? Oh, I know, someone has to actually breathe air before it's perfectly sane to kill 'em. That logic probably works in Alabama, but sadly, it's also the anti-logic of lots of other backward thinking people.

For the record, until men grow a uterus, vagina, some ovaries and other necessary tools, they have NO RIGHT to an opinion on abortion. 'Nuff said.

Something IBEJO Would Appreciate

This is classic. Check out Lewis Black's take on the F-word and others...

http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/ds/special_black.jhtml

More Practice

Well, as I said, I have to continue the practice of becoming the Almighty QFO so I'm taking off and going to my house. I have to waterproof the foundation so we can finish building out the basement. As soon as I can figure out how to post photos, I'll add some so everyone can see that I do actually do something.

Since I come to the office around 6 AM and read all the news stuff I can via the Internet, get ready for some real pinko liberal shit to hit the waves.

What the hell am I doing?

OK, baby bro suggested I start a blog like the millions of other folks out there, but I'm not sure my psycho-babble is worthy. On the other hand, I don't get a chance to vent my superbly intellectual liberal jargon much considering I live in the ultra-conservative, flag-waving, right-winged, Bible-thumpin' deep south. Besides, my employers stupidly decided to try to screw me, so I'm going to return the favour and continue to collect a paycheck while I hone my new skills as the "QFO" (not an acroynm I devised, but I think it's clever). I'm the official "queen of fucking off" at Georgia Tech. Shouldn't I get an award or a certificate or something? Maybe I'll design something once I get more practice.

As this is my first blog, I'll keep it short. I don't want to sound like a conceited little thing, but I can type faster than I can speak so I will probably have a tendancy to rant.