From CNN this morning: "A man who stepped outside his house to smoke a cigarette died when a banyan tree fell on him in Fort Myers, authorities said."
As an ex-smoker, I never could master the art of smoking a cigarrette in 120 mph wind and driving rain.
How the fuck do you do that?
Why the fuck would you want to do that?
For Christ's sake, fool! If you need that smoke so badly, go to the bathroom and turn on the exhaust fan.
Maybe God was trying to save him from the cruel death of cancer. But really, how is he gonna look arriving at St. Peter's gate and the Great Key Master is laughing his ass off?
St. Pete: (laughing his ass off) A banyon tree? Ha ha ha That's a good one. What the fuck is a banyon tree? But, better yet, why were you outside, under the FUCKING tree, in a CAT 3 hurricane?
Stupid Ass Person from Ft. Myers: "I dunno. I guess 'cause I ain't got no fan in the double wide."
Kiss my ass and call me, Skippy. Every day is a new day in the Deep South.
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