This is Where I Live

I posted this on Craigslist R&R (yeah, I know I said I wouldn't read it, but I still use it for venting). Anyway, I post this, and suddenly I'm inundated with Bubbas all over the state wanting my picture and a date. Go figure. Incidentally, all of this was true except I'm not licensed to carry a handgun. Obviously for good reason.


A Warning to the Redneck...

... who hassled me on 285 this afternoon. You know who you are, Asshole. Driving that old green Ford Bronco with Douglas tags. You drove so close to my car, I thought you were going to hit me. I purposely got off three exits earlier so I wouldn't hurt you or anyone else on the road.

Let me explain... I am mid 30s, I have long hair and good "features". I'm 5'9, 135 lbs. Not to sound pompous, but I've been told I'm "pretty". Normally, I wear jeans and t-shirts with no make-up so as not to attract attention. On occasion, though, I have to "get dressed up", with skirt, heels, and makeup, blah-blah like today. News flash --- This is not meant as an invitation to you, Scumbag.

When you play "footsie" with me on I-285 going 70 miles an hour, it is not safe. Repeat that one with me, Junior - IT'S NOT SAFE. It's not safe on so many levels, but one that you may not be aware of is that I am licensed to carry a firearm--- and I do. As a matter of fact, I just love my pretty little luger and I've used it before, although not on a human... yet.

However; going mach speed on the Interstate with me behind the wheel - well, even I'm not that good a shot. So my next thought was to blow out one of your tires or your rear window (that would have been fun), but that could potentially hurt me and other innocents as well. I guess that's why I just exited early. Better part of valor.

What the hell is wrong with a guy who honestly thinks that if he wags his tounge at you and pretends to jerk off, you'll pull over and blow him. HELLO??

Hey, Redneck - stay in Douglas County or better yet, go back to that shallow gene pool you crawled out of.

This is Just Too Easy

Amazing!

"Seven days from now I will send rain on the earth for forty days and forty nights, and I will wipe from the face of the earth every living creature I have made."


Well, I don't know about 40 days and 40 nights, but trust me...

TWO are plenty enough for me.

I just heard the weatherman say (laughing): "How 'bout that folks! Seven days of rain in just three hours - AMAZING!"

Well guess what, Wonder Boy? Guess what I consider "amazing"? The fact I haven't driven down to the news station, kicked your ass square, then dragged you back to my house to pump out the flooding basement.

Hardy-har-har.

Rants and Raves, Southern Style

Have you ever gone to "Best of Craigslist"?

These are posts that people -everywhere- vote to be the "best of" in rants and raves. Most of them are very funny and leave me laughing with a smile on my face or pondering serious questions. Have you ever noticed that NONE of them are from Atlanta's R&R. I wonder why?

Ya think... maybe it's because nine times out of ten (that's "9 / 10" for those of you who cannot read), these posts are:

#1 Apolitical (to you undereducated that word means "not" political)

#2 Anti-racist (to you under-cultured that means not hating because of skin colour)

#3 Anti-misogynistic (to you lacking proper upbringing that means not women hating)

And mostly, they are

#4 English speaking (to those of you who are uneducated, hmmmmmmm---- that means they know how to spell, write, and respond in a proper communication form that only those of us who walk upright and happen not to be a resident of Zoo Atlanta can understand).

Sweet Christ, quit with the "holier-than Thou" bullshit, you whiney-ass racists, ignorant, backward-ass possums (oops - that would actually be "opossums") and let it go. All the angst they publish on Atlanta's CL R&R gives me a slight hole in my stomach so it must create craters in theirs. If there is so much hatred in this city, how can we be expected to be deemed an "international" city?

I'm going to find another vent - Atlanta's is way too suicidal for anyone sane to read.

Good luck with your survival, Atlantans.

Bocelli + Zucchero

I sent this to some of those three people who read my blog, but I figured there would be a chance someone out there appreciates a rare find - at least for me - and I would find great pleasure in offering it up to those who chance by it.

This blew me out of the water and I'm old school, which means I know Zucchero's stuff back in the late 80s.

I'm still working on the translation, but it's interesting that the more I understand the lyrics, the more ironically, karmically appealing it is for me right now.

Really, you must save this to your best sound system and krank it up.


Andrea Bocelli & Zucchero - Miserere



Miserere, miserere
Miserere, misero me
Pero brindo alla vita!

Ma che mistero, e la mia vita
Che mistero
Sono un peccatore dell'anno ottantamila
Un menzognero!

Ma dove sono e cosa faccio
Come vivo?

Vivo nell'anima del mondo
Perso nel vivere profondo!

Miserere, misero me
Pero brindo alla vita!

Io sono il santo che ti ha tradito
Quando eri solo
E vivo altrove e osservo il mondo
Dal cielo

E vedo il mare e le foreste
Vedo me che....

Vivo nell'anima del mondo
Perso nel vivere profondo!
Miserere, misero me
Pero brindo alla vita!

Se c'e una notte buia abbastanza
Da nascondermi, nascondermi

Se c'e una luce, una speranza
Sole magnifico che splendi dentro di me
Dammi la gioia di vivere che ancora non c'e

Miserere, miserere

Quella gioia di vivere(che forse)
Ancora non c'e.

Veteran's Day

So I tend to slam the shit out of the US President and one of my posts seemed to rile up Army folks, but in the bottom of my frozen, microscopic heart, I do appreciate the fact that others can do something I can't - pick up a weapon and defend the people of this country. Without you, I wouldn't have a voice with which to critisize.

Thank you and happy Veteran's Day.

Four Stages of Life

or at least someone's twisted perception...

Waiting On the World To Change - John Mayer

It will happen sooner than we think. Thank God!

Licking Wounds?

Go Figure

The entire country (except maybe Virginia) has woken up, smelled the coffee and finally voted for the one party in the US that does not see the Iraq war as an offense against humanity...

except ------------- GEE-ORR-GEE-AHH

Somehow, enough retarded fucking rednecks found their voting cards and - in THIS backward ass state - they managed to elect a Republican governor, a Republican Lt. Governor, AND a Republican Secretary of State.

Why do I feel like the red ass of a babboon on the country's map?

Lord, please deliver me from Stupidville.

Goodbye, Little Man

Emmett and Anna 2005




I had to do something today that I've never had to do before. I had to put my Little Man to sleep so he wouldn't suffer anymore. He was only four years old (he would have been five on Valentine's Day) and the doctors said it was extremely rare for a cat that young to have such severe kidney disease and the end came on very quickly. He actually climbed into my lap Thursday night and tucked his head under my arm. I think that's when he told me it was time for him to go, but I still didn't want to admit it. Friday morning, he came to me again, this time he looked right at me and cried. He was in real pain and I knew it was time.

I didn't want him to die in the hospital. I didn't want him to die with strangers around him. I wanted him to die at home, but when I went to visit him yesterday, he didn't look like my Little Man, he looked like he was in a drug-relieved state of non-existence. It took about ten minutes of scratches under the chin for him to even seem to know who I was, but the doctor said if I brought him home, he would die slowly of dehydration, which is no way to go, either.

Emmett showed up on the doorstep four years ago. Just like God dropped him off and said, "Have at it - your first boy". And what a handful he's been. He always beat up on Ms. Sterling, always tried to be the first to escape to the outside and he even stole BYT from the Baby. How cruel to give him to me for only four years, then take him away so quickly (and no, Father Fitz, I don't want to read the Book of Job - again!)

Anna is the saddest because he was definately her best friend, but all the cats know he won't be coming home again.

I know God will take the best care of him, I'm just being selfish because I love my Little Man so much and the emptiness is breathtaking.

Goodbye, Poppy. I'll see you again one day.

I'm so sorry and I will always love you so very much.

Did You Know....

...that tears can bounce?

I mean, they bounce off your shirt, your glasses, the desk where you're working... hell, even off the soil where you just planted Spring's hyacinths.

Just like a jai-alai ball.

It must have something to do with physics and acceleration and velocity and all that Einstein-Happy-Horseshit, but tears really can bounce.

Makes me want to say, "Hmmmmmmmm".

Why Democrats are Considered Weak

First off, I'm not a Democrat, much less a Fascist Republican. I'm a card-carrying Socialist, but in this country most people honestly do not know what that means (oh, and to you immigration Nazis - I am a legal American citizen). Regardless, the best I can do to express my political preferences is to vote Democrat, which entitles me to espouse why I believe the Dems may have blown it come Tuesday.

No, it's not what Kerry said about lack of education and the military (albeit that being true), it's about the fact that he f-u-c-k-i-n-g pussed out and apologized for it. Lest we forget, John Kerry is no longer the poster child for the Democratic Party (as a matter-of-fact, one of the biggest problems the Dems have is that there is no admirable, worthy person to represent their party). But, if you chose to make a comment that is taken out of context and republished by the likes of Hannidy and that idiot nimrod, Tucker Carlson, AND your own party will not back you up, why the hell do you back down and apologize? Grow some balls, or at least attempt a nutsack, for fuck sake.

Let me tell you about the military.

Case #1 - I am an Army brat, my father was one of the poorest kids I'd ever heard about. When he graduated high school in bumfuck Oklahoma, it was either work for the county picking up trash on I-20 or join the military if he wanted a college education. He chose the military. After 25 years, he retired, an officer with a lucrative pension. Yeah, go Army.

Case #2 - My ex-fiancé was a hell-raising, kick-ass 6'3, 245 pound asshole with an IQ of a hamster who figured out the best way to live life was rage against the machine. Well, when he was 18, The Machine (in the form of a criminal court judge) gave him two choices when he appeared before the Reno court for robbery, drugs, and lots of other sundries that need not be mentioned... GO ARMY or GO JAIL. Guess what he chose? That's easy, right? Guess what his MOS was (for you dipshits out there, that means your specialty)... E.O.D. Explosive Ordinance Division. That's right - the ARMY gave him fucking bombs to play with. Long story short, I finally realized the short fuse on this guy (no pun intended) and left before it got ugly. Turns out, after his stint in Bosnia, he came back to the US, claimed he ruined his back, collected full disability and went on to graduate college with a degree in golf management. Yup, he now lives in San Diego - on your fucking dime - and runs a luxury golf course. I guess we tax monkeys are the dumbnuts.

Case #3 - My office is down the hall from an ARMY ROTC office. Every time I have to use the restroom or go to the water cooler or go to the parking lot, I have to pass by these Neanderthals and all their "Rah, Rah, Rah" posters, pictures of the Bush Nazis, and their conference rooms. Yesterday, I walked passed the room when they were trying to come up with ways to convince the incoming freshmen why it was best for them to sign-up so they wouldn't have to pay their exorbitant college tuition. One assmunch said to tell them the media was wrong... "We won't send you for more than one tour in three years". What? Hello, there are battalions out there on their fourth and fifth fucking tour in Iraq right now and we've "only" been at war for four years. I guess they figure if you're too stupid to read a goddamn newspaper, you're just smart enough to enlist.

Recruiters are amoral pigshits who should rot in hell.

All that being said, I know all about the military. I have lived in countries where the draft is fully in place and men and women gladly join to do their time because they trust their government is not going to send them off to get shot just to fatten the pockets of those on the highest ladder rung. In this country, you generally have a choice when you join the military...

You are:
#1 Stupid
#2 Lazy
#3 Poor
or, my personal favorite
#4 You simply want to blow someone's fucking head off.


Kerry was an idiot for saying what he said. He should have apologized for being an idiot - simple. Go home, John and write a fucking book or something. Better yet, if you're going to open your mouth about the military, why not remind people that you were a Yale grad, lots of dough in pocket, and still volunteered for three fucking tours in Vietnam. That's half the number of times Bush and Cheney were pardoned for service.

Get your shit together, Dems or things will only swirl closer to the ninth circle of Hell.

All Saints

I went to early Mass this morning, which turned out to be a good call because only about 40 people showed up. Sadly, with as much money as I give my Church, they couldn't see fit to turn the heat on and it was ass-freeze temperature in that big, bad stonewalled cathedral. But I stuck it out - even through the closing prayer. I normally skip out after communion, but Father Fitzpatrick once busted us doing that and announced to the entire congregation, "Well, lest we forget that Judas was the first to leave also".

Anyway, Father Cordoba had a very interesting little homily. He started off reminding his flock as to why we were there, 6:45 in the A.M., freezing our prementioned asses off... We are asked to remember the saints, and not just those whom stories were written about or the ones who have been canonized. He asked us to think of someone we considered a saint and to focus on that person.

Just then, the sun came up and the rays illuminated through the massive stained glass above the altar. The priest said, "I always remember my dad. He was the kindest person I ever knew. He had the most amazing laugh and hearing it made us all laugh with him. I miss him every day, but on All Saints Day is when I feel him with me."

Well, that was it for me. At that moment, I suddenly started whimpering like a three-year old because I truly felt the prescence of my Grandfather. He was there in the Cathedral, laughing his laugh, and dipping a spoon covered with peanut butter into a bag of chocolate chips. What an amazing moment, especially considering he passed away 14 years ago today.

It was so good to see you again, Grampy.


Then, Father Cordoba said, "And I remember my mother's sister. A lovely woman, stern, but caring and never selfish", and suddenly the tears turned to mortal fear as my Aunt Doris showed up and smacked me on the back of my head for not remembering her first.


Two of My Favourite Saints




To all those who have passed that I knew and loved (to include my Booja, Markie, Linus, Snatch, Mortica, Cleo, and everyone else), Happy Saints Day.