This is Where I Live

I posted this on Craigslist R&R (yeah, I know I said I wouldn't read it, but I still use it for venting). Anyway, I post this, and suddenly I'm inundated with Bubbas all over the state wanting my picture and a date. Go figure. Incidentally, all of this was true except I'm not licensed to carry a handgun. Obviously for good reason.


A Warning to the Redneck...

... who hassled me on 285 this afternoon. You know who you are, Asshole. Driving that old green Ford Bronco with Douglas tags. You drove so close to my car, I thought you were going to hit me. I purposely got off three exits earlier so I wouldn't hurt you or anyone else on the road.

Let me explain... I am mid 30s, I have long hair and good "features". I'm 5'9, 135 lbs. Not to sound pompous, but I've been told I'm "pretty". Normally, I wear jeans and t-shirts with no make-up so as not to attract attention. On occasion, though, I have to "get dressed up", with skirt, heels, and makeup, blah-blah like today. News flash --- This is not meant as an invitation to you, Scumbag.

When you play "footsie" with me on I-285 going 70 miles an hour, it is not safe. Repeat that one with me, Junior - IT'S NOT SAFE. It's not safe on so many levels, but one that you may not be aware of is that I am licensed to carry a firearm--- and I do. As a matter of fact, I just love my pretty little luger and I've used it before, although not on a human... yet.

However; going mach speed on the Interstate with me behind the wheel - well, even I'm not that good a shot. So my next thought was to blow out one of your tires or your rear window (that would have been fun), but that could potentially hurt me and other innocents as well. I guess that's why I just exited early. Better part of valor.

What the hell is wrong with a guy who honestly thinks that if he wags his tounge at you and pretends to jerk off, you'll pull over and blow him. HELLO??

Hey, Redneck - stay in Douglas County or better yet, go back to that shallow gene pool you crawled out of.